ife is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you (human) is what you do when that storm comes.” – Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo

Mental health is having a moment in Pakistan, long overdue and much needed. Those of us working in this field had been hoping against hope that this time would come. Covid-19 has laid bare the “hidden epidemic” of mental illness in Pakistan and brought much-needed attention to this serious public health issue. At the same time, it has exposed the lack of regulation and oversight of the work done by mental health professionals. We saw the most egregious version of this failure in the form of the Noor Mukaddam case. In addition, the dire need for mental health services has spawned a whole new industry of ‘life coaches’, ‘counselors’, wellness gurus and the like. Those of us in the profession have watched all this with bemused interest and some concern about the potential for abuse of vulnerable people.

Thus, when I was asked to review Dr Sheeza Mohsin’s book Behind Closed Doors: Healing Emotional Struggles of South Asians, I was slightly apprehensive. The book though is a pleasant surprise. A quick Google search reveals that Dr Mohsin is “a personal growth and relationships expert with a special focus on multicultural clients and their unique issues. She works with couples and families in the US and around the globe”. Her credentials appear eclectic and varied with a PhD in family therapy from the US.

It’s a slim book, written in an easy-to-read style. Dr Mohsin starts out by describing her understanding of the South Asian family. The book’s self-described target audience is Pakistanis, Indians and Bangladeshis living outside their native countries. The author is based in the US. This first chapter is well written and comprehensive, probably because it is the author’s area of academic expertise. It is sprinkled throughout with fictionalised case vignettes of actual clients and families she has seen in her work, most of which ring very accurate.

The book’s self-described target audience is Pakistanis, Indians and Bangladeshis living outside their native countries. 

Following this introduction, the book follows a fairly typical self-help format from assessing your problems to analysing them to setting new goals and working on achieving those etc. There are helpful sections on self-care including taking care of yourself physically, mindfulness, building better relationships etc. Some taboo subjects are also touched on with tact including sexuality in desi relationships, abuse and others.

For me, the most interesting parts, naturally, are the actual client and family stories of people that Dr Mohsin has seen in her work. They reflect, with painful accuracy, the struggles that desi families go through as they attempt to integrate and assimilate into an alien culture (in this case, the USA but equally other Western cultures). While migrating abroad remains a cherished dream for many Pakistanis, the price one pays for realising this dream is not as apparent. And while ‘first generation’ immigrants face their own set of challenges and difficulties (as detailed nicely in the book), it is really their offspring, sometimes referred to semi-humorously as FOBs (fresh off the boat) or rather more unkindly as ABCDs (American-born confused desis’), who often end up paying as high a price as their parents and elders. Those interested in an outstanding artistic treatment of this subject can check out Jhumpa Lahiri’s soulful debut novel The Namesake.

Dr Mohsin has done a service to her clients and to the desi communities living abroad by bringing out this little handbook. While families in Pakistan may not find a lot to identify with given our different cultural context, and vastly different cultural norms, those interested in life abroad should definitely give it a look. Mental health professionals working with families whose members live or work abroad will also find it useful. With the state of mental health being what it is in Pakistan and other low and middle-income countries, any and all resources to highlight the complexities of individual and family relationships and point out solutions are welcome and much needed.

Behind Closed Doors

Healing Emotional Struggles of South Asians

Author: Dr Sheeza Mohsin

Publisher: Liberty Publishing, 2020

Pages: 196

Price: Rs 747

The reviewer is a psychiatrist and faculty member at King Edward Medical University. He is the author of Faiz Ahmed Faiz: A Biography, 2022. He tweets @Ali_Madeeh