Parween Rahman was a people-friendly person. Frail, resolute and hardworking, she reminded one of Florence Nightingale. She was a Lady of the Sanitation bringing good health, housing and citizenship to the people. An architect by qualification, she was an ardent student of Kausar Bashir Ahmad, Arif Hasan and Dr Akhter Hameed Khan. She was frugal, democratic and creative. She was always able to find an alternative solution to people’s problems. No barrier was the end of the game. She would always say “aisa bhi to hosakta hai” and the conversation would continue. Perhaps it was because she could not be stopped that she had to be killed.

Parween was a leader. She led by example. She organised and coordinated work and activities. She was dependable. She showed up on time, stood by what was agreed to and carried out her part well. Officials, community members and professionals respected her. She represented and advocated for people but never ever did she take upon herself other people’s responsibilities. This leadership quality enabled self-help development. She was firm in dividing responsibilities and helping each stakeholder monitor the progress. She set up systems that were beneficial to all sides. Parween once said getting work done was never a win-win situation; everybody had to sacrifice something.

She was an epitome of empathy. In official meetings, in conferences and seminars, in classrooms and in community meetings; she listened attentively. Her eyes bright, a smile on her lips, never ever did she demean or neglected anybody. Neither did she sympathise. Parween personified the sustainable development goals (SDGs). When the SDGs were being discussed, each of the seventeen appeared to be something she stood for. Forming a partnership was a cross-cutting strategy. She implemented the external–internal partnership model, where the government was responsible for the trunk infrastructure and people for the community infrastructure. She favoured technology that cost less, was easy to manage and maintain and enabled equal participation.

Parween was an activist and a quiet feminist. She shunned the average role for women and displayed vision and capacity equal to any man or woman.

As a teacher, she rarely taught. She facilitated the students to learn. Parween was friendly with the students. When we called her Ma’am, she would say, “yaar, call me Perween”. That created an everlasting communication stream between the students and her. She did not give lectures; she gave assignments. Perween’s assignments were to go out into the world and discover the “real” life. She encouraged students to observe and explore. With her students learned to search and research. She would say that problem identification was the result of search and research leads to finding a solution. Parween was diligent and separated facts from perspectives. She brought culture, environment and people together and called it architecture. She said people and Nature could not be numbered. They should be respected and understood. In one of her interviews, commenting on the Mai Kolachi Bypass, she said “if there are flyovers for people, why can’t there be flyovers for fishes?” She recognised and brought recognition to the rights of species other than human beings. She respected bio-diversity and always stressed the importance of ecosystems – the reliance of various species on one another and the environment for survival. This, she used to say, was what determined culture.

Perween was an activist, a quiet feminist. She shunned the average role for women and displayed vision and capacity equal to any man or woman. She did not participate in demonstrations and protest walks. She sang songs, listened to poetry and worked behind the scenes. She researched and developed strategy. Her research was participatory. Her students, workers and colleagues all worked with her. She motivated them to participate and contribute. Any person not found participating was encouraged and helped to participate and contribute. She motivated people with her ideas, ethics and friendliness. She had the most enchanting smile, and it played magic on all who worked with her.

Parween was always well dressed, well mannered and maintained a social distance. When she was angry, she became silent. In meetings with officials, she would be formal and yet collegial. With the community members, she was informal. She would make it a point to always meet with women and discuss the problems that community leaders thought were the sole domain of men. It was her strategy to meet with the weakest members of the community and discuss the problem with them. She felt that if the problem was resolved for the weakest member then all would benefit.

As an individual, Parween was fun-loving. She would say, “yaar, we should do something”. And then an event would be organised. A dinner, a poetry recital, a conference or we would go watch a drama or go out for a picnic. In the company of the elders, she would keep quiet and nod her head and chip in with a question or an example. Her elders loved and admired her. Despite her busy routine, she always had time for her students and colleagues. If there was some good work, she would volunteer. She attended weddings and parties and was always there to share grief and happiness. Parween stayed away from politics. She felt that power should be with people. She worked and lived for the people. She reminded me of Abou Ben Adhem. She did not create parties but institutions – an accepted way of doing things. Those who worked with her found a new way to live, develop and share. Parween is institutionalised in society not by her work but her life. Her life was larger than her work.

“Kis ko shikwa hai gar shauq kay silsilay; hijr ki qatl gahoN say sab ja milay”

The writer is an architect, planner and entrepreneur