Ego and envy are strong dictators of human expression. They translate differently between groups based on age and experience, social class and culture. Unfortunately, they drive human interaction more frequently than expected.

Virtual connectivity is slowly replacing in-person interaction in a digitally connected world. Our expression of emotions is beginning to transform, too. In the digital format, human emotions rank differently. Participants often try to win over the other in the digital space, hiding behind the facade of perfection and gaiety when in fact, they are equally consumed by envy for the other. Before these digital advancements, people tended to restrain the emotional output. Visibility in the digital arena however demands less subtle expression of most unpleasant feelings.

Most of the netizens today are digital natives but the world of the internet is no longer occupied by Generations Y and Z, only. Today, it is not hard to find uncles, aunts, granduncles and grandaunts actively using social media. However, the way they express their feelings makes the digital world a different place for everyone. We all have that one family group on WhatsApp (so you must know what I am talking about). Besides, there are older relatives who live geographically apart but always make an attempt to stay connected with the rest of the group. They are often the first ones to call and comment on social media posts. Never does one find a hint of ego-controlled envy in their interactions. They are the ones whose over six-minute videos or longer-than-a-news-story texts are the last on your priority list to read and respond to.

To a young person trying to maintain a particular image for the sake of appearances in front of the popular kids on social media, the ‘looking nice’ comment from the ever-happy aunt can be a tad annoying. After all, we are all in a race to be digital rankers. The stickers they leave in the comment section of your posts are too embarrassing because genuine affection ranks lower than subtly veiled envy on social media.

The current generation’s obsession with receiving approval from strangers is somewhat disturbing. Instead of appreciating positive comments of the older family members, there is a trend to avoid them on social media altogether. The perfect image is all that most young netizens are striving for these days, which only adds to their stress.

I recently realised this when my aunt — who resides in another city — told me that she waits for me to read all her messages and share my views even on the randomly forwarded texts. She told me how she looks forward to hearing from me every single day. But all I ever do is skim through the six or seven things in my inbox and respond at my convenience.

I have come to realise that the aunts and uncles living away from the family must feel equally lonely in the digital space. We tend not to respond to their comments with the eagerness they are looking forward to and naturally expect and most probably deserve.

With each passing day, I realise that in the current generation we never want to be the first ones to call. We are slaves to our ego and always want to be on a higher footing. We measure our worth in numbers, but only of our choosing and preference. To make ourselves appear important, we avoid calls and pretend to be occupied. The clickable orange congrats in comments your loved ones leave does not count.

I recently realised this when my aunt - who resides in another city – told me that she waits for me to read all her messages and share my views even on the randomly forwarded texts. She told me how she looks forward to hearing from me every single day. But all I ever do is skim through the six or seven things in my inbox and respond to some at my convenience. I felt embarrassed as I thought she could be any other Whatsapp user like me who blindly forwards these messages without waiting for the other person to read and write back.

Another reality check I received recently was when a granduncle said that he had been waiting for me to contact him, but I seemed too busy, so he called to check if all was well with me. My young and healthy self could have done that first.

Likewise, whenever my mother asks me for help with Whatsapp, I see nothing but blue ticks from people my age on messages sent by her. She waits for their replies just like any other person from that age bracket.

The same holds true when it comes to friend requests. The bunch of people popularly known as the ‘internet generation’ hold back their urge to send an add request to people they know really well in real life. They feel that it lowers their self-worth. Again, people older in age are the first to extend the hand of friendship. They always take the lead as they are not consumed by ego or envy and wish to keep close with their dear ones.

All we need to do for now is to value and treasure these people and their messages before it is too late. Make the first move. A five-minute phone call during a study break or workplace tea break is all they need to cheer up. Love grows when it’s reciprocated.

The author has taught at the NCA, the FAST and the PU, and presently teaches writing, communication and linguistics courses at the FCCU. She can be reached at maheenzia03@gmail.com