We have decided that we shall never again fight America’s war. We shall start our own, starting with PIA. Once we have demolished it, we shall turn towards developing tourism. We have Abbotabad, an idyllic retreat in the foot hills of Karakorams, where the greatest shaheed or our times spent his last days, watching educational videos on Kama Sutra whilst planning martyrdom missions on sellout politicians.

I am sick and tired of mom batti waving, libtard, cry babies who take out processions in Quetta about missing persons. And that old fogey, the Mama of freedom. He likes to walk the length of the country whereas he can easily take a helicopter which is cheaper than a Chingchi. Missing persons are not missing. They are having some R&R in choicest spas in Hingol National Park, before they come and mow down our SOPs whilst foaming at the mouth. It is common knowledge that RAW is giving them tons of firearms and Arnab Goswami is giving them litres of foam. Brother Ghafoor knows all; he has it all written down.

Maulana Croc will cry oceans of tears which will wash away Corona and the economy. He will launch a blistering attack on Jecinda Arden who is a maniac, dancing like she has never danced before. It is a matter of national security. Maulana has taken notice. It is his job to take notice. She will have to go into hiding just like Brother Tareen. She can, however, enter into the State of Medina, become our hijabi sister and breed Kiwis with SOPs. We can have a party in Larakana with a hundred and thirty dishes, celebrating Naya New Zealand. Kiwis are halal.

Halal food can be a good start for our economy. Sheroo does not touch anything else. He also supports halala. We can export halala. I have spoken to Jems. She thinks there is a massive global demand. This can be the launching pad for our soft image in the world and can earn oodles of foreign exchange for Raza who can then stop moping and being a pain in the neck.

Fawad, too. He is a bull in a china shop. He must stop. We can let China have Gawadar and make it Hong Kong. They can take Karachi and make it Jinnahpur. We need dollars. We need Yuans. We don’t need Malala. She can stay in Oxford. We need Farhat Hashmi. She must come back and rebuild our broken education system. She is Zooming with Arif. We shall have a core curriculum by next year. Our young generation will be on the same page on halala.

We need to get rid of Ammar Ali Jan. He can go back to his dons in Cambridge and his TED talks. He is creating hatred. We must allow Prof Oriole M Jan to write the new syllabus of Mutalia e Pakistan. We can then initiate the Ghazwa e Hind, starting with Kartarpur corridor. Meanwhile, we should not march towards the Line of Control because the fascitst RSS is looking for an excuse.

All special advisors are behind me, especially Sheroo.

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