Fawad Chaudhry is in hoc to the candle mafia who are controlled by Hamid Mir who works for Dajjal. They don’t declare their Iqama in Panama or their secret liaison with Bahama Mama. They are working against the Objectives Resolution and have staged a hybrid, 5th generation, false flag operation with the help of Kalbhushan Yadav, Narendra Modi, RSS and Nazis. The foreign minister is writing to the UN and the OIC about the heinous conspiracy to change the demography of the Moon Sighting Committee.

The country was on the brink of achieving self-sufficiency in lunar technology. We had progressed by leaps and bounds in lunacy, under the able leadership of the Grand Mufti of Imtiaz Super Store. This is an attack, not merely on the grocery shops but also on the integrity of Pakistan. It is now an open secret that under the guise of Science and Technology, the minister is issuing visas to Mossad, Black Water and Hareem Shah and writing letters to Admiral Mullen and Veena Malik. He is bent upon undermining the State of Medina and converting it into Las Vegas where loose women dance, media is beholden to Satan and Elders of the Ummah lose large bets. He is also a danger to our nuclear programme which is a minimal strategic deterrent in safe hands.

He is an illusionist, a libertine and a heretic. Just like Al-Muqanna, he created an illusion in Pasni, with the help of Laat, Manat and Hubal Telescope. He has nothing to do with religion; he does not fast, say his prayers or practice social distancing. He does not wear an N95 mask and openly ridicules Galileo, Maulana Popalzai and hydroxychloroquin.

It is the unanimous view of all schools of thought that our religion is simple, without a priestly class. It is written that we should wear myopic glasses, dye our dainty beards and meet on the roof top of the Habib Bank Plaza, under SOPs. At that point, the committee should sit on the minister and refuse to adjourn, till he recites shahadah. With this outcome, an announcement can be made, people can flood the markets, to buy a gift for the chief justice who likes a festive dress for festive occasions.

We demand that the prime minister, the chief justice and Tayyaba Gul take a suo motu notice. The minister had said, that this year, he would be flying to the moon. We demand that he should be given a one way ticket with a booster rocket and a ventilator and he should write a binding agreement signed by the Monarch of Saudi Arabia and the Prince of Qatar with a money trail that he will never interfere in the affairs of Din.

We have received this smart rosary from an ascetic in Himalayas which you should recite every day, morning and evening, to ward off the shyateen, mushrikeen and astronomers.

Repeat seven times after wudhu:

LOC, UN, FATF, DIFID, NDMA, NCOC, PCB, FBR, CEPEC, JIT, NAB, NFC, PMDC.

May Allah (SWT) protect you.

Follow @hakimhazik on Twitter