We complain about there being lack of sincerity in the fashion and entertainment industries, with everyone out to get each other’s job, project, outfit or husband but the level of bhai chaara at the Chum Style Awards was ah.may.zing.

I was so impressed. I mean, so so impressed at the level of camaraderie I witnessed at the Chum Style Awards last weekend. Held in Karachi, the event truly proved how close the industry really is. We complain about there being lack of sincerity in the fashion and entertainment industries, with everyone out to get each other’s job, project, outfit or husband but let me tell you lovelies that the level of bhai chaara at the Chum Style Awards was ah.may.zing. What more proof do you want than the fact that everyone in the Chum Family got an award, or should we say a ‘Chummy’. Whoever attended got an award. Everyone in the jury gave each other an award. I was so very impressed. Respect.

So there was some confusion over this year’s theme. Some people said it was ‘retro’ but there was nothing retro about the event other than last year’s recycled outfits. Did you see Tauba Siddiqui’s Umar Seed sari that looked exactly like Mahira Jaan’s Rizwan Beige sari from last year?

Some people felt that the Chummies were celebrating Halloween a week earlier - and let me tell you that the costumes on some starlets were unforgettably scary - but at the end of the day I think the theme was Terrestrial Anthropods, because that blazing yellow and black backdrop ensured everyone looked like insects. People in black blended in, people in white blazed out and those in prints (especially floral prints) were the ideal keeray makoray. I mean, Fanny Jaffrey even had her gown hand painted in flowers to ensure she fit into the flora and fauna.

I have to say that the black and yellow palette did confuse me a little. I mean, weren’t we taught in school that these colours stood for danger and yeah, I have to admit that things did kind of look like a nuclear disaster site every now and then. That beautiful Hoorane girl turned up in solid red and my mind shouted "danger!" But I digress. The point is that the Chum Style Awards were all about dosti and yarana.

I love that the under-achievers were given a chance to shine. I mean, where else would Jibran Riaz, Shoaib Jaan, MHM (who?) or Ashna Rojhan get a chance over names like Abdullah Waris and Hasnain Zehri. Hasnain Zehri, by the way, stomped out when he lost Best Male Model to Jibran Riaz but then that’s just a one-off incident. Even brothers fight. Let’s not make a big deal out of it.

Let’s not dwell on the awards too much anyway. PSY was obviously going to win for Most Stylish Television Host but then it was so generous of them to award Talwar ki Dhar Ali Abbasi as well. And Abbasi, who generally steers clear of all things fashionable actually accepted the award and celebrated it on social media. You’d think that’s the only reason why he attended in the first place.

Over to the show, which started around 11pm. Mary Qamar’s performance wasn’t bad…she is a mimic after all and she’s quite the baaghi… the way she dug her heels into Mahira Jaan and Farhad Khan. Loved her guts. Also loved the fact that the Chum Style Awards let her, who’s in the spotlight for her play Baaji on a rival channel, take the spotlight. And she was so cool that she sang a song about herself and how people like her become stars. Too bad the sound system was so bad that half the jokes fell on deaf ears.

Then Farzan Saeed pulled a Yasir Hussain; something about cricketers and people turning beautiful after coming to Pakistan. Oa-kay. Was that joke on Bhabi? Then he consistently mispronounced the sponsor’s name: Creative Digestive Biscuits. Infact, Funny Kazmi was so good that I wondered why he wasn’t just made host. But then I checked Funny’s social media following. Compared to the three Hoorane sisters it was inconsequential. Did I say three?

Things got better. Asim Mazher and Daira Shahroze’s dance was genuinely good energy. Modern, quick and fluid. Too bad there wasn’t more of them.

We did get more of Sohaib Malik, who inexplicably went up to accept Meena Shafi’s award for Most Stylish Performer Female. It was awkward, even I have to admit. "Well, I’ve never even met her," he said, "But I’m sure she’d be really happy." Dude, why did you have to go accept her award then? But then this was the Chum Style Awards and everyone had to get a chance. You just have to appreciate their sense of fair play. Love it.

Disclaimer: It’s tragic that we have to clarify, but this piece is categorized as satire and is not meant to be taken seriously unless you wish to read between the lines.