As I revisit a particular memory, I find my 16-year-old self rolling her eyes at a distraught Sara as she complained for the umpteenth time about how difficult life was for her because she wasn’t as privileged as her friends.

I cringe at my naivety now and I wish I had more sense to understand where she was coming from then, instead of just assuming that she was ungrateful.

Recently, I had a discussion with a friend which made me see that we aren’t as open-minded as we claim to be. I find the idea rather interesting as I have noticed so many people claiming that they would act a particular way in certain situations but the reality is often extremely different. I am not implying that we are not entitled to our opinions because, of course we are. What I want to point out is that we aren’t as accepting as we pretend to be.

We judge people according to our strengths, forgetting that every one of us may be fighting a different battle. We overlook our own shortcomings, and we consider them weak. What we choose not to see is that people can be passionate about different things, that their strengths can be considerably different from ours but they might be just as resilient. This unexplainable need to evaluate people is disturbing, and what’s more disturbing is to want everyone to fit a certain scale.

We expect others to accept us, to forgive us for our limitations, to acknowledge that we are doing the best that we possibly can, but we would not extend the same courtesy to others. Do we lack basic common sense, basic humanity?

Whenever we come across someone who is different from who we are or what we accept as normal, we view that person as a threat and immediately try to distance ourselves from them. We don’t, for a minute, think how our behaviour could affect others. We don’t really care.

We come across these situations everywhere. Have you ever noticed the kid who sits alone in the playground during lunch break? Or, the new colleague whom you ignore entirely just for the heck of it? What about the friend that you conveniently forget to invite to a get-together? We tell people what we think of them through these little actions and to be honest, it might not seem like a big deal but it is.

I understand that some people are toxic and you just can’t be around them but it is important to at least give someone a chance.

Another thing which came up during the conversation was that people even use religion to belittle others. Oftentimes, I have walked out of my religious class thinking that I am going straight to hell. Many professors choose to interpret religion so negatively, instead of highlighting the fact that as long as you are moving forward, that is enough.

Talking about how the world is coming to an end because girls no longer sit at home is not the kind of talk that would lift anyone’s spirit. Even religion has become a competition of sorts and it’s no wonder people constantly feel that they aren’t good enough, for this world or the hereafter.

I think we should make a conscious effort to be more accepting and to let others be, instead of analysing them in a way that not only makes them uncomfortable but also discourages them to be their own person. Tolerance is a virtue and we might as well adopt it.