"Last year was the worst year of my life. I do not see things getting better in future," says Uzma Insar, 33-year-old housewife, who belongs to the Christian community of Peshawar.

Uzma lost her two children on September 22, 2013, when two suicide bombers blew up the All Saints Church located inside the Kohati Gate of the old walled city of Peshawar after a Sunday service, killing nearly 100 worshippers.

She remembers she tried to convince her nine-year-old daughter, Nehar, who was running fever that day, and her 11-year-old son Eshan Gohar to miss Sunday school at the church. "They were excited to attend school, as they had done their homework and wanted to show it in the class," she says.

For Uzma time has not moved on, it’s frozen. She vividly recalls every detail of the explosion - the two blasts and then destruction, smoke, painful cries, blood, human flesh, dead bodies. "I wish I had not lived to see it all. My children, both of them, died on the spot," she says as her eyes well up with tears. "I have their school bags at home, their school uniforms, clothes and toys and everything."

The explosion had critically injured Uzma. She was kept in the intensive care unit for a week and then in the ward for two months, where her injuries were treated.

One year on, Uzma and her community members live under the dark shadows of the two blasts. Seemingly, there is no respite from fear, dead seem to be more fortunate than the living. "I could not weep or smile for two months after the incident. I had to go through psychological counselling for a month to feel normal," says Uzma’s husband Insar Gohar.

The tragic incident has taught him to find solace in religion. "We go to church regularly but avoid the All Saints Church. We go to other churches because All Saints Church reminds us of our children," he says.

Insar is part of the religious counselling programme and visits the survivors of the bomb attack at their homes.

Almost every second Christian family in Kohati area of Peshawar has a heart wrenching story to tell. According to data collected by the Diocese of Peshawar, the September 2013 attack, left 54 children orphaned (some of them lost both parents), 16 widows, seven widowers. Five people that were critically injured are still recovering and six have been handicapped.

Several people belonging to the Christian families have already moved from Peshawar to Sri Lanka and Malaysia. "Most of the families who have links or resources have either left the area or are in the process of moving," says Danish Younis, 35, who was injured in the blast.

Danish goes to the church regularly but feels the place has changed. "We have to go through strict security checks. There are signs of destruction from the blasts on the walls of the church. Every visit to the church reminds me of September 22, 2013. My two children were also with me. They were saved but I saw dozens of children getting killed," he says, adding, "It is not easy to forget those scenes."

Although the religious leaders of the community still preach faith and hope, yet "the current situation is difficult. Yes, there is hope because our’s is the God of hope but the entire Christian community feels insecure after the attack," says Rev. Joseph John, priest at Diocese of Peshawar.

Built in 1883, the church is a symbol of interfaith harmony as it looks more like a mosque with domes and minarets than a church. "The Biblical verses were inscribed on walls of the church in Pashto and Persian some 130 years ago. The house of God is now under police security. It’s so unfortunate," says Rev. Joseph John. "The church has lost its identity. It is no more the All Saints Church -- but the church that was attacked in September 2013 when over 100 people were killed."

Haroon Sarab Diyal, chairman All Pakistan Hindu Rights Movement and executive member of Commission for Peace and Minority Rights, says every second non-Muslim Pakistanis (he refuses to use the word minority for them) and even members of some Muslim sects want to leave this country. "Nine members of the Sikh community were killed in KP (mostly Peshawar) in one year. In January, this year, a Hindu temple was attacked in Peshawar. Unfortunately, the minorities have been culturally converted to Islam. The state has done nothing to protect our identity. Our textbooks are anti-Hindu, anti-Christian and anti-Sikhs," he says, pointing out that hatred against Christians is on the rise in the country.

Dr Shahjehan Syed, a Peshawar-based intellectual, thinks the September 2013 attack on the church was a defining moment for Peshawar and Pakhtuns alike. "Minorities were completely integrated into the Pakhtun society. They are being isolated because the attackers are averse to diversity. People need to understand that the philosophy of takfir is an imported one. But, it is making strong inroads in our society -- and the worst is that state and society has not even started a struggle against that thinking," he says.

At the launch of the 2013 annual report in April this year, Director Human Rights Commission of Pakistan, I.A. Rehman said "Minorities in Pakistan are increasingly feeling insecure since the present government came to power in June last year.

The report termed year 2013 as "one of the darkest years" for Christians in Pakistan, with the deadliest ever attack on the community mounted in Peshawar in September.

A year on, and the Christian community in Peshawar is still waiting for justice and fulfillment of promises by the government. "We are still begging for justice," says Bishop Humphrey Peters, Diocese of Peshawar.

The federal government pledged to fund Rs200 million for an endowment for orphans and widows. "We decided to develop a church house for orphans and widows with the promised amount but it has not been released yet. It struggle for justice and compensation has already become too long," says Bishop Humphrey Peters.

He says that the church’s nature of work has changed after the blast. "There is much more concern about security. It is expensive to keep security guards. We have to also provide psychological counselling to our people," he says.

The Supreme Court of Pakistan ordered the government to depute 10 policemen at every church for security. However, "this pledge has also not fulfilled," he admits.

International organisations have also been demanding the government to provide justice and compensation to the community. "We urge the government of Pakistan to be proactive in combating the threat of extremism, and to enact the ruling of the Supreme Court, in order to ensure protection for places of worship and communities of minority faiths," says Mervyn Thomas, Chief Executive of Christian Solidarity Worldwide, a Christian organisation working for religious freedom through advocacy and human rights.