Being right

September 21, 2014

We would be so much more compassionate if we tried to view to the world from a Smithian lens.

Being right

Vulnerability is often portrayed as something worth avoiding. Emotionally, we have all been there -- mostly in private. But allowing yourself to be vulnerable in the public eye is not something many advocate.

Yet, it has its benefits -- especially if we are willing to be vulnerable about our beliefs.

I work in a field where we get paid to think, analyse, talk and be firm about our positions. This often breeds a culture where ‘positions’ become opinions.

The same is often true of political affiliations too.

Even though research shows that we reason with emotions first and with logic only later, we insist on telling ourselves that our beliefs are valid -- if not better or more sound than the one we are arguing against. This might be required at times, especially if you are a lawyer, a salesman making a pitch or a politician making a speech. Yet there are few things more liberating than abandoning that belief and trying to imagine how another person views the world.

In his book, The Theory of Moral Sentiments, Adam Smith (often celebrated for The Wealth of Nations) wrote about what motivates and explains human conduct. His focus, unlike Kant, was not on the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Smith set out to understand simply the ‘why’.

We as a society would be so much more compassionate if we tried to view to the world from a Smithian lens.

Smith said that sympathy is nothing more than imagination. His starting point was that we can never fully grasp what another feels. Yet we can push ourselves to imagine what the other feels. Hence, a failure to sympathise is the failure of imagination. Could there, possibly, be a more beautiful thought? Or a more humbling one?

Smith said that sympathy is nothing more than imagination. His starting point was that we can never fully grasp what another feels. Yet we can push ourselves to imagine what the other feels.

Smith stressed the importance of reflecting on our own conduct. He realised how quick we are to judge others. He wrote, presciently, about how kind we are to ourselves. He said that there is no greater smoother of wrinkles than our evaluation of ourselves.

Reading Adam Smith reminds us that insecurity and vulnerability can be great assets. He urges you to constantly remind yourself of how little we understand of what goes on around us. In a country increasingly obsessed with being ‘right’, accepting and even celebrating vulnerability can be unsettling. Yet it is also liberating.

One cannot help but notice how the desire to be ‘right’ often trumps the desire for compassion. In a society as divided as ours, this is likely to be a recipe for disaster. Take any debate about any important issue in this country. People are mostly talking to themselves and never listening. The souls who can step back and be the impartial spectator are rarer by the day.

Maybe this obsession with being right and being validated is a product of the times that we live in -- so many of us are broadcasters now with our own accounts on social media. But in order to feel validated we need not destroy others or ridicule their perspectives. Yet many do this. The power to broadcast ridicule is not insignificant. Yet the only people who can constantly dismiss others are either flawlessly brilliant or completely ignorant of their own shortcomings -- almost always the latter.

However, social media is not where the problem begins. The problem starts with a certain sense of arrogance and misplaced entitlement -- social media just becomes a tool. All of this ridicule that kills confidence in young people and renders them incapable of expressing an actual opinion is furthered by an oppressive culture in educational institutions and, just as often, at the workplace.

There is no particular reason for me to write all this except some of the recent interviews I have done with potential employees. These are mostly freshly minted lawyers. They have been trained in a culture where they are ridiculed for not being ‘right’. Instead of being encouraged to ask the right questions, they are penalised for failing to quote the ‘right’ answer. It is striking how when people are afraid of being ridiculed, their inherent brilliance is never exposed.

As employers, teachers and friends we fail as humans and as seekers of talent if we cannot spot this. Equally important to remember is that vulnerability is something that you have to actively seek. People educated abroad at decent schools are just as likely to suffer from the obsession of being ‘right’, unless they cultivate a certain amount of comfort with vulnerability.

Rigidity of views is arguably one of the greatest stumbling blocks to analytical ability. In fact, when insecurity about a particular knowledge base is not acknowledged, this is bound to happen. Do we want to cultivate a generation that is so scared of being vulnerable that it will resort to arrogance to be seen as ‘right’?

On the other hand, there is no greater talent in a lawyer than the ability to tear up his/her argument to shreds, stating the strong possible case for the other side and arguing her way back to make a compelling case.

The same is true for political ‘opinions’.

In a country suffering terrorism, everything turns violent -- even language and expectations. Compassion takes a back seat. At a human level, we all need to do more to preserve the culture of compassion. Thanks to the many enormously brilliant people I know, and those who inspire me, I am reminded time and again of the importance of allowing myself to feel vulnerable -- especially about my beliefs. These articles are one way of expressing such vulnerability.

I am extremely unsure of the skills that we are teaching our younger generation. And what can we teach them if the older generation, in an age of social media, is more concerned with being ‘right’?

There is every reason to embrace vulnerability about one’s opinions -- and being comfortable with it. We must encourage more vulnerability in our schools, homes and work-places.

And, of course, I could be wrong.

Being right