Annie Khalid

Annie Khalid debuted with her single ‘Mahiya’ in 2005, which became rather popular due to its catchy tune and simple lyrics. Some of us may have found the song kind of annoying. Perhaps it was the cute, curly-haired English-Pakistani girl that caught people’s eye. We do not know, but the song did get popular back then. Mahesh Bhatt decided to use it in a movie.

And what happened then? Perhaps the charm of hearing bad lyrics in an English-desi accent faded away, because despite coming out with another album in 2010, Princess Annie could never graduate to Queen Annie status.

Hadiqa Kiani

Hadiqa, Hadiqa, Hadiqa. Congratulations on judging Pakistan Idol! We’re happy for you, but we understand you will need a long vacation after all that stress. At least we’re kind of hoping you’ll be taking one.

At this point Hadiqa Kiani’s music has gotten monotonous and we can’t think of a single memorable number she has put out in recent years. Gone are the days of good old pop with ‘Mann Di Mauj’ and ‘Boohay Baariyan’.

Our best wishes are with Hadiqa as far as her philanthropy goes so we’re giving her a free idea for a kind deed: retire.

Ali Haider

Can you guess how many albums pop/Sufi singer Ali Haider has released in total? Go on, guess.

Eight? No. Fifteen, you say? Nope, wrong again.

He has released 22 albums in his singing career. That’s quite a number.  But why do we only remember Ali for little more than ‘Purani Jeans’ and ‘Zaalim Nazron Se’?

The good part is Ali did quit (take heed, Hadiqa) for reasons best known to him. He says his music no longer satisfied him and we weren’t particularly enjoying it either. Although we could all have benefitted more if this stopped a couple of albums earlier.

Good decision, Ali! But wait a second… What is this Bachpan Ki Badaami Yaadein? Oh no, another album. You tried to make a ‘Purani Jeans’ style comeback, didn’t you? As well-wishers, we’ll tell you to please quit while you’re still graceful. Maybe invest in a kurta line like everyone else?

Jawad Ahmad

Rare things are as fun as watching Jawad Ahmad ‘jump dance’ robotically in every music video he’s put out. We will try not to rip on him since he’s known to be an exceptionally nice person.

Ten points for your polio-drive, educational trust and work for the earthquake victims! Now let’s get to the music.

We thought ‘O Kendiye Saiyyaan’ was fantas-okay, maybe not. But ‘Uchhayan Majajan Aali’ was pretty…unforgettable, right? We are really hoping you don’t make a singing comeback, but it’s not because we don’t like you or anything. It is just not a good time for you, with these new kids on the block putting out some rad music with their Coffee Basements and Cola Studios. Perhaps join a political party like Abrar?

Nevertheless we’re very proud of you for your social work and owe you huge thanks for making something other than singing your strength.

Komal Rizvi

Komal Rizvi is cute and she does have a really nice voice. She’s worked in India, which seems to be the final goal for most of our stars, unfortunately. But then she returned…

Her work with Coke Studio wasn’t half bad. But we must understand that sometimes luck isn’t on our side. When you’re invited to talk shows and the host asks you to sing ‘Baou Ji Baou Ji’ it is time to pick something else to do. That song is, what, over a decade old?

Let’s start afresh by binning your golden sequined top, which is featured all too often in your music videos.