"The Dead Horse Theory" beautifully describes the way governments function, particularly in some third world countries being governed under one system or the other. This theory comprises Canadian wisdom applied to the Indian Administrative Service (IAS), according to an Indian gentleman who has circulated it. It was originally received by a friend - Imtiaz Rastgar, a former Vice-Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of the Engineering Development Board of Pakistan - who has forwarded this piece to me. It reads:

"The tribal wisdom of the Plain’s Indians (aboriginal Canadians), passed on from generation to generation, says that: When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount." However, in our IAS, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.

7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse’s performance.

10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance.

11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and, therefore, contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

13. And, of course. Promoting the dead horse to a prominent position!"

An ironic narration -- it fits us so much! Strangely, these "advanced strategies" have been or are being practiced in the Pakland as well, in particular to manage the affairs of the state enterprises. Here, we tried our best to whip the dead horses, using even stronger whips. But, when stronger whips did not yield the desired results, often we resorted to changing the riders, in most of the cases substituting one administrative service officer with another equally inexperienced hand. These novices consider themselves ‘jacks of all trades,’ trained to manage all and every type of the state institutions.

When both the strategies do not deliver, it is a common practice in this land to form a committee for carrying out an "in-depth study" to consider various pros and cons of the problem, and come out with a solution and recommended line of action. But, in most of the cases, the members of these committees have little knowledge of the subject matter under study hence their recommendations are often akin to planting mangoes and cotton on the snow-covered slopes of the Northern Areas, or farming apples and tea in the deserts or along the coastal areas of the country.

But, poor results never dampen their spirits, and they keep on trying one solution or the other, in the trial and error manner, to achieve their coveted goals.

In their wisdom, it is now time to hurriedly undertake visits to countries globally renowned for producing those goods so as to study the system, methods and procedures applied in those countries for managing production of the much sought after goods. But, once abroad, they don’t forget to buy souvenirs and gifts for the dear ones at home! In fact, souvenir and gift-hunting consumes most of their times, leaving few moments for the study that obliged them to undertake the visit to the distant lands.

Having failed to grasp the methods and systems abroad, on return, they recommend to lower the standards so that candidates compatible to the dead horse could be found and harnessed. Proudly, declaring that the word called failure is not in their dictionary, they succeed in re-classifying the dead horses as ‘living-impaired,’ and fixing a quota for harnessing them. When the situation does not improve, they finally hire foreign experts to ride the dead horses.

On the recommendation of outside contractors, they harness several dead horses together to increase the speed and also manage to provide additional funding and training to increase the performance of the dead horses. The exercise costs the exchequer a couple of hundred billion bucks every year, and the bills keep on increasing year after year.

Unable to deliver, they don’t give in and order for carrying out a "productivity study" to see if lighter riders could improve the performance of the dead horse. The bottom line of this productivity study says that as the dead horses do not have to be fed, they are less costly, carry lower overhead and, therefore, being economical they could contribute substantially more to the economy than do some other horses. On this stipulation, they rewrite the expected performance requirements for all horses. And, of course, they don’t forget to promote the dead horse to a prominent position, reward him richly for the services, grant him liberal perks and privileges and then monetise most of those facilities, and finally confer upon him good performance awards!

Here one recalls an old comic piece: Moved by the beauty of the daughter of a grass-cutter, the ruler of a princely state wants to marry the girl that he adores. But, when the ruler made his intention public, some elderly courtiers advised the Raja not to pursue his desire, pleading what the citizens would think about the uneven match. The Raja asked the Chief Babu to appoint his would-be father-in-law to a prestigious and lucrative post. When the Chief Babu stated that there was no vacancy except that of the civil surgeon, the Raja issued orders for the appointment of the grass-cutter - his would-be father-in-law - as the civil surgeon of the state. The elevation was intended to obliterate the chances of any possible aberrations against the marriage. After the marriage, the Raja’s sycophants started praising the Raja’s wisdom in marrying the daughter of a grass-cutter, saying that the arrangement has saved the state exchequer billions that would have been spent on ceremonies if the Raja had married the princess of another state!

How to break the vicious cycle? It’s a million dollar question, a riddle that confronts the nation and yet remains to be solved. Perhaps, the country’s younger generation, which is imbued with the will and energy to work hard, focusing on the actual problems, may be able to break the vicious cycle and lead the nation to progress, prosperity and glory that is the hallmark of progressive and democratic governments! When free from corruption, nepotism, cronyism and sycophancy, the country is destined to turn into the promised "Land of the Pure!"