he Instagram curation, LinkedIn hustling culture and TikTok trends makes it seem like our lives have transformed into non-stop to-do lists. But here’s the question that keeps echoing in the minds of the millennials and Gen Z: Whose lists are these, really? Are we living for ourselves, or are we chasing a script written by societal expectations, parental pressures or the relentless need for validation?

This isn’t a list of groceries or errands. The list represents our goals, achievements and emotional experiences that are shaped by unseen societal expectations. We’re told to hustle, to optimise, to brand ourselves. But whose voice is whispering these directives in our ears? The question remains whether we are following our true self or reacting to societal pressures.

Many people are trying to sift their true desires from the expectations they believe they should have. We wake up, check off boxes — go to work, chase the coveted job title, hit the gym, post a story, network, side hustle — but somewhere along the way, we pause and wonder: is this my life, or am I just performing it?

The pressure to succeed, to be liked, to fit in, while maintaining pace with our rapidly advancing society can overwhelm us. In the midst of it all, we’re left questioning as to whose expectations we are living up to.

We wake up, check off boxes — go to work, chase the coveted job title, hit the gym, post a story, network, side hustle — but somewhere along the way, we pause and wonder: Is this my life, or am I just performing it?

Social media amplifies this existential tug-of-war. We find ourselves comparing when we view the filtered lives on social media platforms. Did I travel enough? Am I ambitious enough? Have I found the right hobbies to enjoy and appropriate friends to connect with and the proper aesthetic to express myself? The continuous onslaught of highlight reels causes people to mistake their desires for what they believe will earn them acceptance. We chase likes, followers and external validation, only to realise that the acceptance we’re seeking never quite fills the void.

But here’s the twist. Millennials and Gen Z are also the generations questioning this very cycle. We’re the ones having candid conversations about mental health, burnout and the importance of setting boundaries. We’re redefining success, not just in terms of career milestones or material wealth, but also in terms of authenticity and fulfillment. We’re starting conversations on what we actually enjoy, what makes us feel alive and not just productive.

It’s a messy, ongoing process. Some days, we feel confident about our choices; other days, we’re paralysed by self-doubt. Perhaps the first step is recognising that it’s okay to not have it all figured out. It’s okay to shed the expectations that don’t belong to us, even if that means feeling awkward or out of place for a while.

So, whose to-do list are we living by? Maybe the answer lies in rewriting it — one authentic choice at a time.

Zubair Mallick is managing director at Lotus Client Management & Public Relations