consequence of growing up around old people is that their values, at least some of those, rub off on you. Having spent most of my time with my grandparents, I took for granted that their way of being was the standard way people behaved. The years that followed have been spent in a sort of nostalgia for a time I never lived in.

There’s a line in the Wes Anderson film The Grand Budapest Hotel which goes, “I think his world had vanished long before he ever entered it…” I think this is an appropriate way to put my experience of life in some sense.

What makes me feel this way? A top contender would be people’s social behaviour. It is considered very ‘normal’ today to abandon conversations midway. In fact, it has become increasingly common as technology has advanced. I cannot, in good conscience, speak for the world beyond Pakistan. In our country, somehow, we have made it acceptable to not reply to texts or missed phone calls. We have made it common to start a new conversation while the previous one lies abandoned in the same chat window.

Of course, it is not only the perpetrator that is to blame. The people on the receiving end of such disrespect also frequently make provisions.

This lack of respect for one’s acquaintances is not an occurrence in isolation. This strange value, or lack thereof, is manifest in all areas of public life in our country. On roads, people are not ready to wait for others waiting to turn. Motorcyclists are at the throats of car drivers who, in turn, are at the throats of other car drivers. There is animosity for strangers. After all, respect for strangers cannot be hoped for from those who don’t even register their disrespect of peers.

Lack of respect for one’s acquaintances is not an occurrence in isolation. This strange value, or lack thereof, is manifest in all areas of public life in our country. 

The third instance — and this is perhaps the most ridiculous — is the behaviour of people working in the service industry. If you frequent retail stores, you will find more and more service staff behaving with indifference.

This is not limited to local vendors alone. Even multinationals that have made a name for themselves based on above-par service have staff that is either undertrained or simply indifferent towards training. An example is McDonald’s where it was common for you to be greeted with an enthusiastic “Welcome to McDonald’s!” and an equally joyous “Have a nice day!” now has staff that seem to be completely antisocial (barring exceptions).

It is fine and well for those who have given up on this country and want to move abroad, but those of us who still plan to live here or are forced to by circumstance will have to correct their ways. How we coexist with our fellow country-people is of great importance for not only social reasons but also economic ones. The full quote from The Grand Budapest Hotel is, “I think his world had vanished long before he ever entered it — but, I will say: he certainly sustained the illusion with a marvelous grace.” Perhaps, sustaining the illusion of a bygone time can actually make us return to values that are indispensable.

Uneeb Nasir writes about culture, art and identity. More of his work can be found on medium.com/ @uneebnasir