hildhood memories are funny little things; aren’t they? Not all, of course; let’s be real. There’s nothing particularly thought-provoking about that time you ate sand and ants off the ground. That was just dumb—and come on, we’ve all been there. But some moments, a few, stick with you and make your little brain work overtime. And now, just as I’m hitting 30, I look back and think, “Oh, so that’s what it meant.”

Like every child, I had my fair share of drama and moments of pure overwhelm. And I know what you’re thinking: “What’s a kid got to be tense about, other than not being allowed to ride their bike?” But hey, don’t underestimate my childhood anxiety—I knew what stress felt like, thank you very much. And with that stress came some profound “words of wisdom” from the grown-ups. Words that, back then, didn’t make much sense but somehow got us through.

Okay, enough with the suspense, this isn’t House of the Dragon. So, there I was, overwhelmed with schoolwork or something equally life-threatening at the time. I thought my world was going to collapse. My mom saw me drowning in the crisis and, after listening to my entire rant, just looked at me and said, “Well, you’re just going to have to pull it together and carry on; now won’t you?” Let me tell you, at that moment, I was not impressed. I was hoping for a more theatrical response, like, “Oh my God! How will you ever get through this mountain of homework?” But, no; she was wise, and I, was... well, dramatic.

Flash forward a couple of decades, and the light bulb finally went off. What she was really teaching me was grit and perseverance. According to some study, I saw someone mention on a TED talk once, grit is apparently the number one factor in determining success. Who knew, right? Grit and perseverance help you power through, even when you’re feeling down or stressed out. They keep you from letting anything—mood swings, Netflix binges, you name it—get between you and your day.

You ever wonder why so many motivational quotes come from boxers or wrestlers? Things like, “It’s not how many times you fall; it’s how many times you get back up.” Well, turns out boxing is the perfect metaphor for life. We’re all out here taking punches—every month, every year, with a rotating lineup of struggles—and it’s the resilience and determination to keep fighting that get us where we want to go.

You know what I feel like sometimes? Like, “I can’t afford to be sad today, I’ve got too much to do.” And oddly enough, that mindset works. We’re creatures of habit, after all. That’s basically what being an adult boils down to—not letting your feelings and worries derail you completely. I’m not saying never take a break when you need one, but the number of things that can throw you off your game should diminish over time.

So the next time you’re about to crumble under pressure, just give yourself a little nudge and say, “Well, you’re just going to have to pull it together and carry on; now won’t you?”

Shaafay Zia is an ex-serviceman and a freelancer. He can be reached at shaafayzia@gmail.com