n quiet moments of reflection that parenting brings frequently, I find myself thinking about the little rituals and stories that have woven their way into the fabric of my children’s lives. One such ritual centred around my youngest son and his enchanting cheeks, which we affectionately dubbed “cheekapus.” Whenever he desired something, be it a toy, a treat or feel better and recover from an illness, I would invoke the magic of his cheekapus. “If you’ve been a good boy and you wish it hard enough,” I would tell him, “your cheekapus have the power to grant your wish.” This simple and endearing narrative brought hope, joy and excitement into our household.

My son’s face would light up with anticipation, his little hands eagerly patting his cheeks, eyes tightly shut uttering the magical words “One, Two, Shupa Shupa” as he wished for his heart’s desire. One, Two, Shupa Shupa and the cheekapus became a symbol of innocent hope and the boundless possibilities of childhood imagination. Each syllable of “One, Two, Shupa Shupa” was a step into a world where dreams were tangible and magic was real.

As he uttered those words, my son believed wholeheartedly in the power of his wish, his small voice filled with unshakable faith and earnest hope. In those moments, the cheekapus were more than just chubby cheeks; they were the conduits of an innocent belief that the world was a place where wishes came true, where every desire, no matter how small or grand, was within reach.

Yet, as I look back on those moments, a twinge of doubt creeps in. I wonder if my well-intentioned tales may have planted seeds of a belief that life would always unfold magically in his favour. I now refer to this phenomenon as the “Shupa Shupa Syndrome.” The term, whimsical as it may sound, captures a deeper concern about the subconscious expectations I might have nurtured in him.

The Shupa Shupa Syndrome is the notion that everything will always work out, as if by some inherent charm or unseen hand. It is the belief that good things will come effortlessly, that wishes are granted without the need for struggle or perseverance.

At its core, the Shupa Shupa Syndrome emerges from the deeply ingrained parental desire to see one’s child perpetually happy. By creating a magical narrative, such as the power of cheekapus, parents infuse their child’s life with a sense of wonder and possibility. This narrative, while enchanting and heartwarming, can shape a child’s worldview, fostering an expectation that life will always bend favourably to their desires. A child accustomed to having their wishes granted might struggle to cope with disappointment and failure. The Shupa Shupa Syndrome can create a sheltered environment where the harsh realities of life are temporarily obscured.

This can leave children ill-equipped to handle setbacks or unfulfilled desires. Learning to navigate these experiences is crucial for developing resilience and emotional maturity.

As a parent, it is a delicate balance to strike fostering a child’s sense of wonder and optimism while also preparing them for the realities of the world. This duality is the essence of parenthood, a journey that oscillates between the enchantment of nurturing dreams and the necessity of instilling resilience. It is a dance of shadows and light, where the heartstrings are both tenderly caressed and firmly tugged. As parents, we become storytellers and dream-weavers, painting their world with the colours of hope and endless potential. We encourage them to dream big, to believe in the impossible, and to trust in the kindness of others.

Parenting is a journey of continuous learning, filled with moments of joy and, occasionally, introspection.

However, as they grow, the world’s complexity begins to unfold before them. The once pristine canvas starts to reveal shades of grey, and with it, the necessity of equipping our children with the tools to navigate this more complicated landscape.

It is here that the real challenge begins—how do we preserve their innate sense of hope and wonder while preparing them for a world that can be harsh and unforgiving? In hindsight, I question whether my stories of the cheekapus might have shielded my son from the valuable lessons that come with facing challenges and experiencing failure. Life, after all, is not always kind, nor does it always reward good behaviour with immediate gratification. The resilience to navigate disappointment and the determination to achieve one’s goals are crucial skills that every child must learn.

As my son grows, I see glimpses of the Shupa Shupa Syndrome in his approach to life’s hurdles. A part of him still believes in the effortless granting of wishes and the inherent goodness in everyone, a vestige of the magic we once created together. It is now my task to gently guide him towards understanding that while his cheekapus brought joy and comfort, real magic lies in his efforts and persistence.

Parenting is a journey of continuous learning, filled with moments of joy and, occasionally, introspection.

The stories we tell our children shape their perceptions and beliefs, sometimes in ways we do not fully grasp until much later. The cheekapus were a sweet chapter in our story, a testament to the love and creativity that define our family. But as with all stories, there comes a time to evolve and grow. I realised that while magical narratives and wish fulfillment are integral to a joyful childhood, they must be tempered with lessons that prepare children for the complexities of the real world.

This awareness prompted me as a parent to gradually shift my approach, integrating opportunities for my child to learn the value of effort, the inevitability of setbacks and the importance of perseverance

There are moments when our children’s innocent questions pierce us with their simplicity: “Why do people have to be mean?”, “Why can’t everyone be happy?” or “Why is hard work not always rewarded?” We struggle to provide answers that will not tarnish their optimism. We want to tell them that everything will always be alright, yet we know we must also prepare them for the reality that sometimes, it will not. It is in these moments that we realise the profound depth of our role as parents: to nurture, to protect, but also to prepare. It is the recognition that while we cannot control the world they will inherit, we can shape the people they will become—resilient, hopeful, and ever capable of finding light in the darkness.

I hope to teach my son that true magic lies in hard work, resilience and the courage to face life’s uncertainties. The enchantment of his cheekapus will always be a cherished memory, but it is the strength of his character and the tenacity of his spirit that will ultimately shape his destiny.

In acknowledging the Shupa Shupa Syndrome, I embrace the opportunity to guide him towards a more grounded and empowered understanding of life’s complexities.

As I continue this journey of parenthood, I hold onto the hope that the lessons learned from the cheekapus will blend harmoniously with the realities of the world. May my son carry with him the joy of believing in magic, tempered with the wisdom to create his own. Our greatest gift to our children is not a world free from pain and hardship, but the unwavering belief that they have the strength and spirit to navigate it. It is in this delicate balance that we find the true essence of parenthood—a journey of endless love, boundless hope and the enduring joy of watching our children become the best versions of themselves.

The writer is an entrepreneur based in the United States and the United Kingdom. He tweets @viewpointsar and can be reached at sar@aya.yale.edu