e have heard of a baby shower where friends and family come together to help and congratulate expectant parents. But in some parts of Tharparkar, the men sit together before a child is born to decide who they will marry, sometimes even before the said child is conceived.

This practice of matchmaking is called watta satta or badhoo in Tharparkar. It essentially involves an exchange of brides between two families. This practice is rooted in cultural traditions and social norms.

Mahasingh Bheel, a 24-year-old man from Banbhan Tabho in Nangarparkar tehsil, says he is a victim of a centuries-old tradition of naming a child for marriage before birth. At 16, he got married. Now has two children.

Bheel says, “While culture and traditions should be respected and celebrated, we must denounce practices in our society that violate human values. Deciding a child’s entire life before they even exist is unjustifiable. My aunt was married in Bhalwa village, which is almost 45 kilometres away from my birthplace. Sadly, she passed away soon after her marriage. Subsequently, my parents and immediate relatives discussed the possibility that her death could strain our relationship with her in-laws. To uphold the legacy of our relationship, we agreed to arrange exchange marriages for our yet-to-be-born children. Both parties consented to this arrangement.”

Mahasingh’s wife, Champa Bai, a 22-year-old woman, couldn’t bear to dwell on the tradition of marriage before birth, given the difficulties she had faced. She recounted, “I was only 14 when I was married off, thrust into the role of a bride and then a mother. This sudden transition was incredibly challenging and perilous for my life. I never imagined that my parents were responsible for this injustice,” she said tearfully.

“While culture and traditions should be respected and celebrated, we must denounce practices in our society that violate human values. Deciding a child’s entire life before they even exist is unjustifiable.”

“Just imagine the agony of having children give birth. Because of this crime, my husband and I were unable to grow personally and professionally. We longed to attend college and university for higher education, to experience the world for broader exposure. However, we failed, all in the name of continuing the legacy of relationships with relatives,” she said.

Mahasingh and his wife, Champa, are fervently advocating for their community to cease this practice. Mahasingh, a teacher by profession, is actively engaged with the Thar Education Alliance, serving as an agent of change in Tharparkar. Together, they are on a mission to enroll children in schools and promote the concept of civic education in local communities. In addition to Mahasingh’s efforts, Champa dedicates herself to raising awareness among women of the Bheel community in their village about the hardships of underage motherhood, drawing from her own experiences to persuade them.

Folklorist Bharu Mal Amrani shares a folktale featuring Dholo and Marval. According to him, there was a time when the fathers of Dholo and Marval, Anarr Rai and Pongal Rai, were involved in a conflict. They reached a resolution, agreeing that if they exchanged their future children in marriage, their relationship would continue.

Khalid Jogee, author and writer, says that the ritual of naming a child for marriage before their existence is not a good practice. Nevertheless, it is a common custom in many communities in Tharparkar. If a perfect match isn’t found during engagement or confirming the marriage, they name a child for marriage, even if that child doesn’t yet exist. He emphasizes that this ritual is followed by verbal consent without legal agreements.

The writer is a multimedia journalist based in Hyderabad, Sindh. His X handle: @MathraniSanjai. He can be reached at smmathrani1@gmail.com