t every point in your life, you have this feeling that you know it all. In your initial years, you get annoyed if your parents tell you something you don’t like and then pout about it for a bit. In your teenage years, you want to break into freedom, and as puberty hits, you begin to have the emotion of feeling ‘adult-like.’ And, when you enter your early twenties, you’re like, wait, no, I used to be immature, and now I have it all sorted.

As someone who’s about to hit his thirties, a point where you don’t know whether to call a life crisis a mid-life or quarter-life (I chose quarter because mid is just scary), I can tell you I still look back and always feel that I was young and stupid, which has been the case at every point in one’s life.

One thing I’d like to take away from this is that I’ve always been growing in multiple ways; that’s why I contemplate whenever I look behind. Another thing is, while looking ahead, I now see that there is still much potential for growth and improvement. Even though now (like I did in my teens) I feel like I’ve reached proper adulthood and have a figured-it-all-out kind of mindset, I think you have to give in to the ‘fact’ that you’ll always keep discovering new aspects of yourself.

I found my fashion sense pretty late in my life. Being born a twin, I would always mimic my brother (like I didn’t already copy enough of him genetically). Early years went on to our parents dressing us in clothes of their liking. Then growing up, I would just wear what he would choose for himself or similar things. I still remember when I started going shopping on my own, I’d video-call him and ask for his approval. This need for approval stemmed through a series of (perhaps) insecurities developed during my early ages. But that’s a story for another time.

What I want to focus on right now is that I eventually stopped asking anyone for their approval of my choice of clothing. This felt quite liberating. Like Ariana Grande sang, “I want it, I got it.”

Fashion is a very personal and individual choice that mimics your personality and the vibe you want to give off. I truly found myself as I started to shop ‘for myself,’ not for someone else’s approval.

Fashion is a very personal and individual choice that mimics your personality and the vibe you want to give off. I truly found myself as I started to shop ‘for myself,’ not for someone else’s approval. That was just a domino (a really heavy one at that) that I had to move in order to start a series of firecrackers that exposed me to who I really was. Now I move in life to benefit myself.

It’s such a sad thing that the thought of finding happiness for yourself first is looked at as selfishness. It’s absolutely not, because I’ve realised most of the time that my happiness stems from making others happy as well.

It’s funny how much confidence I’ve gained ever since I stopped asking for opinions. I know what I like, and I don’t need anyone else’s opinion on that. Sure, if you want to give a compliment, I’d gladly accept it. It’s honestly funny how when you truly expose your personality in your fashion sense, you wear it more confidently, and you really do shine. And I’ve received more compliments thus.

Not to sound arrogant, but now whenever someone says something nice like, that’s a great shirt, I excitedly (with happiness, not arrogance) respond, “I know, right!” And that’s the way it should be: proud, not arrogant.

The writer is an ex-serviceman and a freelancer. He can be reached at shaafayzia@gmail.com