rince Harry’s foray into a very different kind of public life with wife Meghan Markle is entertaining at best, and baffling at worst. Plus, call it what you may, but the writing in Spare is pretentious at worst, and straightforward at best. This is said with perfect cognizance of the fact that J.R. Moehringer is an award-winning journalist, and 10/10 recommended by George Clooney for ghostwriting.

What Moehringer does channel in Spare though, could be a perfect translation of how Prince Harry talks to how he wishes he would. Although the couple, for all the fingers you may point for their lack of foresight, and the tone-deaf quality of their missives to the world, seem happy and content together, there is still something about them that fails to win respect.

Perhaps – and this is said as a citizen of a previously colonized country still seeing effects of the rule play out in various ways – one does expect a certain quality of behavior from an actual royal family. While none of Prince Harry’s previous excesses, often reported gleefully in tabloids, are really noteworthy, as which young adult amongst us has been a perfect saint, there is a kind of mindless compliance that colors his every move since his marriage to Meghan Markle.

There are two ways to view this: one, Prince Harry is a devoted husband and father, and will do what his immediate family needs him to, to keep them happy and safe.

Women often complain about how their husbands remain married to their families even after marriage, often putting parents and siblings above wives and kids.

The other is: the couple is being opportunistic and trying to see which marginalized group they can appeal most to. Should they play the bullied (Harry and the paps) or the minority (Meghan is biracial) or just as a symbol for problematic elitism?

To this end, there is a definite market for this particular branch of the British Royal Family. The Subcontinent. Harry and Meghan Markle should have had their day on Netflix, but they completely missed the ball by not letting Karan Johar producing their saga for them. And no, this would have been no K3G. This would have been a Bollywood Wives style extravaganza, where the couple and their kids travel, do philanthropic work, go to fab parties, but then sip wine at home and talk unashamedly about their privilege.

The hook would be: Harry was mistreated by family because he put his wife first. That alone is enough to make an entire region sit up and say: well, let’s learn something from this. Plus, you know we all still have a hangover from what our parents (or grandparents) referred to the gora complex. We’ll automatically assume that their way is the right way.

The other way to position themselves would have been to actually use the prince’s life as an extreme study in bullying, stalking and harassment. Had their Netflix docuseries been a standalone effort, minus Spare, the interview with Oprah Winfrey, and other emotional declarations, it could have worked. At this point, almost five years on from the wedding, we’ve had too much of the couple’s various dilemmas and roadblocks publicized to really care.

Like any good story, if the Sussexes must tell theirs, it has to be succinct, gripping, and new. The same old storyline cannot be recycled over and over. Otherwise, the film becomes life, with the boring bits left uncut.

– A.B.