ntrospection is for chumps. It’s great and stuff, and a life unexamined etc., but do you feel like sometimes we are forced to contemplate ourselves and every moment and every move we make and every vow we break, till we’re basically just stalking ourselves like Sting was stalking that poor girl in the ‘80s? It’s exhausting.

Add to that the fact that we do live in a culture that is keen on quantifying, and you have the perfect formula for self-doubt. Even a bit of self-loathing. Don’t do it, kids. Literally nothing is bad enough or worth it to start questioning yourself.

As my Commerce (that’s Business Studies for zoomers) teacher told us once, ‘I believe things are so bad in Pakistan, that the only way to go is up,’ sometimes things are so bad, the only way out will eventually be up. So, chin up. But be warned that said statement was made in the Spring of 1999, and the proof is in everything you have seen in the following months up to now.

That said, the years that have followed 1999 have also made us better-informed and more self-aware. So there’s literally nothing stopping us now. Like Starship for Mannequin On The Move. Okay, I’ll stop with the dated pop culture references.

Here’s a definitive list of what you can watch to really bring yourself out of the crevasse, up, up, and away.

When you spent 35 minutes in gridlock on your way home from work, and can’t believe you still choose to live in Karachi:

Akbar Chaudhry’s Defence vs. Nazimabad video on his YouTube channel. Even if you think it’s a bit classist, you’ll know exactly what he’s talking about, and then you’ll remember why U (heart) KHI.

When you spend all of Thursday night trying to align the template on a PowerPoint presentation, and don’t know why your 18 – 20 years of education didn’t pay off like you thought they would:

Friends S1 E4 – The One With George Stephanopoulos. Somehow Friends has carried over its popularity across the decades, and while A LOT of the stuff you see in those 24 minutes is usually unrelatable, this is the one episode we can all relate to: life’s just not gone the way you thought it would. Will it get better? We’re rooting for you!

When you cannot with how many horrible people you have met with, been introduced to, or matched with in an attempt to jumpstart your romantic life

Honestly, just watch Plan A Plan B on Netflix, and you’ll be cured of any desire to be partnered up forever.

Whenever someone yearns for the golden age of the television drama, but you haven’t watched any dramas since 2011 because they were just getting progressively #UmeraAhmed:

The Morning Show. While the two seasons of TMS weren’t without their problems, the story does manage to touch upon the relevance of personality vs. demographic, and interestingly, Billy Crudup’s character, in one of his many, many, many impassioned monologues talks about how web will probably buy out all network television at some point. Chills. But also, perhaps the TV drama series needs to relook at its format and adapt accordingly.

When you’re just exhausted from what was supposed to be a fun night out after a stressful week, but all the talking about your life and its perceived failures has you spiraling right back to fifth grade, when it all started, which starts another spiral:

Look, we can’t really change the past. What we can change is the future. Film Back To The Future mein, Robert Zemeckis ne yehi bataya tha*.

­Actually, in the BTTF universe, you can change the past too. So, you have a choice: either watch the BTTF trilogy itself, or just admit that only good things, like the quote above*, can come from your thousandth watch of Andaz Apna Apna.

When you’ve just returned from a weekend in Karachi/Lahore and wonder why you still choose to live in Islamabad:

Well, firstly, you choose to live in Islamabad because it is gorgeous. Secondly, you must now watch Stranger Things S1. Can you imagine any of that happening in Karachi? Where would the Hawkins Lab even be? In Katti Pahari?