t was an eventful year in the world of Rihanna. The singer emerged from musical hibernation to bless us with the generically gorgeous ‘Lift Me Up’, the Wakanda Forever lead single and Chadwick Boseman tribute that was her first new solo tune in six years. She also contributed a second song (‘Born Again’) to the movie’s soundtrack, announced that she would headline next year’s Super Bowl halftime show, and created a mini human person with partner ASAP Rocky.

- Queen of the illuminati music industry Beyonce embraced retro vibes and sampled pretty much every song that has ever existed on her new album, Renaissance.

- Taylor Swift tried to kill the planet with her private jet and murder our ears with her music. The popularest popstar in the known universe released yet another album, then sent her rabid fan-base into overdrive by announcing her forthcoming Eras tour, promptly causing ticketing mayhem.

- Kendrick Lamar continued being brilliant … although we’ll be honest here: the perfection of that ‘The Heart Part 5’ deepfake was all kinds of disconcerting.

- On a similar note: ABBA Voyage – kinda wonderful, kinda weird, kinda confusing when you realize everyone is just cheering at a projection.

How soon before actual humans become completely redundant?

- Ed Sheeran threatened to release another album and left us thinking: if only he’d run out of mathematical symbols and just call it a day…

- Adele – whose last minute postponement of her Vegas residency caused quite a kerfuffle – looked different but still sounded the same but let’s talk about her looks some more, why don’t we.

- Shakira landed in hot water with the Spanish authorities, facing an eight-year prison sentence over alleged tax fraud crimes, with the case heading to trial. Prosecutors are expected to subpoena the singer’s hips to testify … because … her hips don’t li … never mind.

- Blink 182 had their customary “one of us almost died, let’s get back together” reunion.

- A new generation discovered Kate Bush thanks to Stranger Things, while the rest of us just sat here and felt very, very old.

- We got two stellar Jack White albums this year for we are truly blessed.

- The Russian invasion of Ukraine defrosted Pink Floyd who came together for a one-off charity single, ‘Hey, Hey, Rise Up!’, featuring vocals by Ukranian singer Andriy Khlyvnyuk.

- The biggest K-pop group on the planet went on hiatus so that its members could complete mand-atory military service … is news that sounds made up but isn’t. The BTS split is estimated to cost South Korea billions in tourism and merchandising. The group is expected to reconvene in 2025 …

- … although, given that One Direction has now entered the sixth year of their 18 month hiatus … yikes?

- When he wasn’t busy starring in the Drama of the Year – as one of the leads in the backstage fuss from the messy set of the critically panned Don’t Worry Darling – Harry Styles released an immensely popular album.

- We wondered how we would live in a world without Little Mix. Turns out: quite happily.

- Jax revealed Victoria’s secret. (Spoiler alert: Victoria was made up by a dude.)

- We had that ridiculously catchy, annoyingly ubiquitous Meghan Trainor song stuck in our stupid head for weeks and progressively lost our will to live.

Also that David Guetta & Bebe Rexha x Eiffel 65 song…

Excuse us while we slam our proverbial head against the proverbial wall.

- The emancipated Britney got married, released a duet with Elton John, signed a $15 million book deal for her upcoming memoir, and continued to rip her estranged family a new one.

- Musical genius – and person who clearly has no doubts about his vibe – Elon Musk bought Twitter and proceeded to make business decisions that are just about as good as his music.

- Jeff Beck and Johnny Depp released an album that we can only hope was more fun to make than it was to listen.

- ‘Anti-Semite of the Year’ Kanye West decided to destroy his life, reputation, and career, all in one go, because why not.

- The revelation that Adam Levine is a creep did not surprise anyone anywhere.

- A bootleg R Kelly album was leaked because they need something to play in hell after all.

- We lost the likes of Taylor Hawkins, Aaron Carter, Naomi Judd, tWitch, Takeoff, Olivia Newton John, Coolio, and the legendary Loretta Lynn.

- After winning four awards at this year’s ceremony for their song ‘Leave the Door Open’, Silk Sonic “gracefully, humbly and most importantly, sexually” bowed out of submitting their album for next year’s Grammys. Which would’ve been interesting if award shows actually meant anything.

- And Iggy Azalea did not release any music this year, so … yeah. Small blessings and all that.