s the year ends, we do tend to become retrospective (please see our slacker’s guide to understanding what being good means somewhere on this page), but also, sometimes the year has beaten every last bit of energy and positivity out of you and you cannot be kind about/to one more thing/person/animal you don’t like. Without further ado, our list of popular things that should have been called something else.

Tanha Dil Tanha Safar

Aka The Catcher In The Rye

Listen, if we wanted to read about a sixteen year old’s thoughts on everything from family to life to ducks and sex work, we would literally time travel back to the ‘90s and listen to our own. Do you remember when you were 16? You had a lot of opinions on a lot of things and most of them were uninformed and irrelevant and possibly unhinged. Holden Caulfield is exactly the kind of kid who would have an Insta account that posts about: Five things no one told you about life…, The perfect woman has these qualities, Why I think the COVID “virus” is a hoax.

You know the type.

Encino Man

Aka Koffee With Karan

While we’re all for the next gen and the new kids and smashing glass ceilings, who on earth are these children on Koffee With Karan? Where did they come from? Wasn’t Janvi Kapoor just born? You know who you are as the viewer, right? You’re Encino Man.

Thank you, next

Aka multiple global viruses

This is self-explanatory, yes?

Mean Girls

Aka And Just Like That

Honestly, it just feels like Sarah Jessica Parker did this reboot of Sex And The City to spite Kim Catrall, and paint herself as the people’s princess. Or the people’s favorite Park Avenue princess. It’s very disconcerting to learn that we don’t always leave petty arguments behind in our twenties.

Seven Samurai

Aka your nighttime skincare routine

Guys, sometimes we’re just too beat to spray essence into our faces seven times at five-minute intervals, okay?

Critters

Aka Twitter

How did one man sink one of the most engaging social media platforms in mere days? Where will Pakistani intelligentsia share with us their valuable opinions now? Will this prove to be Elon Musk’s Titanic, and if so, should we also see if there are some automobile and world war connection conspiracy theories here? Someone call Holden Caulfield quick!

Karachi Feud Diary

Aka Karachi Food Diary

There isn’t a single person happy with the meals and snacks they paid for over here, except for Thatguyarif’s loyal fans - IYKYK. Also, for a group dedicated to sharing exciting and delicious culinary experiences, a lot of KFD-famous places are, like, medium, at best.

Stockholm Syndrome

Aka Queen Elizabeth II’s passing

The brown world collectively united in grief as the monarch who colonized nations upon nations, looted national treasures, and set in place systems within the subcontinent that left indigenous folk outside of humane, respectful treatment, and with complexes as wide and scarred as all the colonies combined, which we fight to this day passed away. Just because someone is a little old memeable lady, doesn’t mean they’re nice, okay?