Disgrace

Penetrating solid walls was seldom hard for me

I felt sheepish stepping out of the door.

Enmeshed in the cobwebs of alleys upon alleys

Night fell when I was halfway there, somewhere

Lament of the trees began

All else disappeared in that noise – the way, the speech, the voice.

Where are we heading?

Waves pounding in my mind

No direction

In the middle of a whirlpool

A whirlpool of words.

Tongues of leaping fire

Lick up the walls

In the morning the walls stand tall again

This is all correct

But tell me where do you wish to head?

It’s been seventy years when the country was founded

Rising hills of dirt and smog fill up the alleys and byways

Humans turned into apes

Brandish sharp blades to have their way.

My legs are exhausted by a long walk

But tell me where do you wish to head?

Exiled in their own country

Some people are mine

Rest are buried under sacks of gold

Either scream or lick the wall.

This is all correct

But tell me where you wish to head?

To those who lie buried in the earth?

Or to those whose lust for gold

Is never smothered?

Their lust embraces each and all

Gold dust fills the eyes

But you tell me where you wish to go?

Where you wish to head?

The drakes floating on the lake

Ask me the same

For they know where they are heading.

If I did not know where to go

Why did I step out?

Is the diaspora from my country a jigsaw puzzle?

Will someone tell me?

Let me go

Seventy years later! Let me go.

I was seven when I decided to take the first step

Seventy years have passed

Cobwebs become more sinuous

Entangling my head, body and feet.

Having seen the world for long

What I see now is real or feigned

I don’t know

Whoever stepped out of the door

Turned into stone

You, me or my alter ego.