Cycle of abuse

Pakistan prides itself on being a free country, but for many women, true freedom remains an elusive dream. Beneath the façade of happy families lies a grim reality: the relentless cycle of domestic violence that women and children endure behind closed doors. According to a recent report, in 2023 there were 10,201 cases of domestic violence against women in Punjab. Even more alarming is the dismal conviction rate, which hovers between a mere two and five per cent. In a society deeply entrenched in patriarchy, where male voices dominate and women’s cries for help are often silenced, these numbers tell only a fraction of the story. Domestic violence in Pakistan is not just a social issue; it is a systemic crisis that continues to destroy lives and futures. Despite women increasingly joining the workforce and gaining financial independence, the abuse persists. The 10,201 cases reported are undoubtedly an underestimation, as countless incidents go unreported due to fear, stigma, and a lack of support systems. Almost a year back, a vlogger was filmed hitting his wife. As the case escalated, the two patched up and termed the video staged. Such cases are not rare. In women-only social media groups, members share stories of being assaulted by husbands – only to say that leaving is not an option.

The cycle of abuse is self-perpetuating. Women who are subjected to violence often become abusers themselves, taking out their pain and frustration on those more vulnerable, such as children or domestic workers. These children, in turn, grow up in a toxic environment that normalizes violence, perpetuating the cycle for generations. The psychological scars from such abuse can last a lifetime, stifling the potential of countless women and children who might have otherwise contributed positively to society. The government’s response to this crisis has been woefully inadequate. Initiatives like the domestic abuse centers offered a glimmer of hope, but the lack of continuity not only undermines the credibility of government programmes but also leaves victims without the support they desperately need. Lawmakers have called for the establishment of a national database on crimes against women and children, but this is not enough. Without safe havens for victims to turn to, no database will encourage women to report abuse. The reality is harsh: in a society where renting a home is nearly impossible for single women, where can a woman escape to when she leaves an abusive relationship?

The outside world, for many, is just as hostile as the one they are trying to leave behind. This is where the state must step in. Each province must establish and maintain care centers where women can find refuge after escaping their abusers. Affordable housing policies must be implemented, and penalties enforced against landlords who discriminate based on gender. Schools must offer counseling services for children experiencing domestic abuse, ensuring that they have a safe space to express their fears and receive help. Additionally, law-enforcement officials must undergo rigorous training to handle domestic violence cases with the sensitivity and seriousness they deserve, ensuring that no woman is dismissed or pressured to ‘let the matter go’. In Pakistani society, women are expected to fulfill every role – mother, wife, daughter, homemaker – but they are not expected to exercise agency or autonomy, especially when it comes to walking out of abusive relationships. This mindset needs to change. Until it does, the stories of domestic abuse will continue to surface, with the same tragic outcomes but different names and faces.