Vagaries of violence

domestic violence

Domestic violence is an insidious criminal problem, in which a woman is commonly seen as the main victim. Former Secretary-General of the United Nations, Ban Ki-moon said, “There is one universal truth applicable to all countries, cultures, and communities: violence against women is never acceptable, never excusable, and never tolerable”.

Pakistan is ranked as the sixth most dangerous country for women and fifth in domestic violence, according to the Thomson-Reuters Foundation survey 2018. Domestic violence against women is context-specific and general. The social norms and culture seem to be favourable in Pakistani culture to those women who phlegmatically bear marital abuse.

The effect of domestic violence on other people in the same domestic setting varies from person to person. In older age, domestic violence is associated with physical and mental health. There is evidence that older age victims experience less psychological distress as compared to the young. Children are seen at higher risk for emotional behavioural problems. They are likely to develop anxiety, depression, academic problems and fear.

In the Pakistani context, it is unfortunate that discussion on these issues is presumably disrespectful to the privacy of a family. It is important to overcome the hesitation by approaching and discussing the issue.

Regarding a case of domestic violence in Rawalpindi, it was due to the demands of property share from the wife by the husband on his name. Instead of settling the dispute after the death of the husband’s father, the husband started demanding property share from his wife’s parents aggressively including blackmailing, mental and physical abuse, and torture. The husband’s family started making demands and started to accuse the wife every day. Initially, they prevented the girl from meeting and talking to her parents and then started to treat her abusively, with insulting remarks. From time to time, the husband was provoked by his mother, brother, sister and brother-in-law. The man started fighting and hitting his wife mercilessly and hurling talaqs on non-fulfilment of his demands. Initial demands were a one crore jeep and a 4 kanal house in Islamabad. The husband’s family was under observation by the wife’s senior family members as they would come to calm him down in his erratic and abnormal behaviour. Instead of showing respect for them, he would mistreat them and demand talaq. He was not only mistreating his wife 17 years, but her whole family, including her caste, her practices, and family values. He claimed that it was a man-dominated society and the men would have their way.

It is astonishing to see the mind-set of a man who was highly educated. Education was also not able to change his attitude and mind-set. The wife never demanded anything from her husband in 17 years of marriage and did the best within her resources for the family. The wife had given up her children, jewellery, dowry, academic degrees and more and was taken out in police custody in a state of trauma after severe domestic violence. She was with no roof and denied everything that belonged to her. The greed, jealousy and mental state of the husband showed how people could stoop so low for money and did not stop in destroying their own son’s home.

A lot of queries spring up for the provision of justice to victims of domestic violence. A young man jumped into a rickshaw and harassed a girl by holding her. In another case, a woman was mishandled at Minar-e-Pakistan by nearly 400 people who went there for making her video for a social platform. In the horrifying case of Noor Mukadam, a criminal-minded man brutally murdered Noor on refusing his marriage proposal. In another case, a wife was attacked by her ex-husband with acid. The case of raping a mother of two on the highway cannot be forgotten. In 2016, Khadija Siddiqui was stabbed 23 times by Shah Hussain. Hussain was sentenced to five years imprisonment but was released after 3 and a half years. Keghad Baloch, a woman in her 50s, was allegedly tortured and murdered by security forces in Kech, Balochistan. Still, there was no justice provided to her. In 2020, Maliknaz Baloch was brutally murdered at home during an armed robbery and the men were sent to the local leader for settlement. These are just a few, but there are a lot of other cases. However, it is astonishing where Pakistani society is heading. Activists blame the society’s patriarchal attitudes for the problems but violence against women is on the rise.

Many women still do not have access to the authorities for their rights. Enough hashtags have been seen in this regard but now it is the real-time for the laws to make a difference.

Dr Saira Asad is an award-winning columnist, researcher and Adjunct Assistant Professor at Riphah International University in Islamabad. She can be reached at saira.asad2011@gmail.com.

This article was originally published in December 2021 issue of SouthAsia Magazine.