Being an avid serial watcher and drama lover, I am starting to notice that this is now being normalised, which is a huge problem....
OPINION
The drama industry in Pakistan has grown exponentially and is a very valuable export of ours. For Pakistanis living abroad, they serve as a potent link to life back home and provide a much-needed break from reality. However, one thing which has become quite rampant is the display and portrayal of violence on these shows. Being an avid serial watcher and drama lover, I am starting to notice that this is now being normalised, which is a huge problem.
Where does one draw the line between love and torture, between passion and violent behaviour? I am afraid there isn’t any such line, not for our TV dramas. Having watched so many of these, the storyline more or less remains the same which shows women being abused. From subtle to the most brutal acts, these women are shown as bearing torturous behaviours, suffering, sobbing, and crying. They are made to believe that staying in a violent relationship is temporary and that love still exists in the relationship. Do you find that easy to believe? I don’t.
The irony, though, is that I am a minority in the vast audience who consume these shows while having dinner with their family and nobody bats an eye. I am one of the few viewers who watch dramas with an open eye and mind but I cannot digest simply everything that comes my way. I need to dissect it, unpack the storyline, decipher the innate and hidden messages along with the very obvious ones. I have found issues with a lot of storylines; the depiction of angry young men who are enraged and passionate within a blink of an eye or the totally headless women who bears all the brutalities. But that’s not where my problems with today’s TV dramas end.
I have problems with many of the male and female artists, defending and justifying explicit portrayal of violence against women in TV dramas. It is obvious that they certainly live in denial and ignorance. Why else would someone justify this glorification of brutal and abusive behaviour against women as ‘something even the strongest women go through? or, ‘Oh, but he does love her/me’! This is called normalisation of heinous acts of violence, and when this delinquent behaviour, this justification comes from big names, it breeds real life ramifications. Turning men into monsters and abusers who deem it fit to exhibit their toxic masculinity as and when they desire. Be it a slap, a kick, sexual abuse or any other form of sexual assault. Everything is justified as being a ‘part of our daily lives’ because our TV dramas portray them as such. As if the stars were not enough, the directors too come to defend the brutalities shown blatantly in their plays. All in the name of ‘portraying the facts of life, reflecting the social realities, love and hatred, abuse and passion’ – a horrific mixed platter.
There are a dozen different, important topics which are brushed under the carpet, denied, mocked and in the end declared unfit for public viewing as showing such realities may destroy our family structure. One such being marital rape. A lot of women go through torturous and tumultuous marital relationship – all without their consent. Or why can’t we take up issues of LGBTQ? Why is it that out of the all five letters – which, by the way, all exist in our society – we only happily recognise and talk about trans people? And that too, very superficially? It makes us as viewers and the ones churning out this content, extremely hypocritical.
Another problem which I find is important to highlight is the lack of trigger warnings. Many of these dramas portray realities of life by showing violent scenes which are being watched in a family setting. The messages are stored in some corner of the mind, seeing the depiction of heroic masculinity, the power and the rage is enough to be a huge influence. Emotional and psychological damage has been done, specially where there’s already some form of violence in the family. And this cone become the reason behind breeding potential harassers, abusers, rapists, murderers – you name it. And channels after channels follow no ethical guidelines. The censor board looks the other way.
One easy solution is to stop watching these dramas. But that doesn’t curb the problem. I head an organisation which monitors and analyses media content, news and entertainment. What I have always focused on is producing counter narratives. By showcasing what real Pakistani women are capable of. Yes, there is domestic violence, there is brutality and harassment and there is toxic masculinity, but haven’t we all faced it bravely and come out of it? When I see women fainting at every small incident, I am reminded of all the traumatic real-life situations that I have been through and how I dealt with it.
Women in real life are neither this fragile nor weak. They’re courageous and brave. They may stumble, even fall, but they have the strength to stand up and get back with their lives. That is what is needed in our TV dramas. Depiction of truth is not in showing women being abused, or suffering in silence, or being clueless on how to differentiate between love and violence. Truth lies in depicting how women can and must come out of an abusive relationship. Truth is to show that a girl child must be brought up to be strong and not give in to masculine power. And the biggest truth the dramas can show is that boys need to be raised as human not as monsters, as loving and friendly beings, not abusers, as partners and not adversaries.
Tasneem Ahmar is the Director/Executive Producer at Uks - A Research, Resource and Publication Center.
She can be reached at tasneem.uks@gmail.com
