When Covid-19 made its first appearance in Pakistan, and offices started shutting down, Reshma Aftab initially felt like she was getting a break from the rut of having to spend the entire day away from home due to her rewarding but time-consuming full-time job. “I was initially happy that I will finally get a chance to spend more time with my son. But as we started to get into the home-based work routine, I realised how difficult it was. I had to work both ‘for home’ and ‘from home’. My double job had started,” says Aftab. Her family’s expectations suddenly increased. “They wanted me to become a trained chef. Food Fusion recipes and pictures of enticing cuisines on family chat groups added fuel to the fire. Cooking was never my expertise, but I had to up my game,” she shares. However, cooking and housework was not the biggest of Aftab’s problems. As a Senior Executive, she was provided with much-needed physical resources like desktop screens and comfortable chairs by her organisation. But the biggest trial for her was having no control over timings of meetings, having to attend official phone calls and virtual meetings without any sense of privacy, and personal time and space. “That is where the lines between my personal life and professional life got blurred,” elucidates Aftab.

The pressure on women working from home seems to be disproportionately more, as compared to their male counterparts. With Pakistan still grappling with the third wave of the pandemic and strict lockdowns in place, women find themselves not only physically more drained, but also emotionally more exhausted. While women are known to be naturally adept at multi-tasking, the loss of boundaries and no set timings of office work owing to virtual meetings and online communication channels at any and all hours has made the situation difficult for Pakistan’s female workforce left with no option but to work from home. This leaves them with some pros, but many cons.

For Cyma Hasan who works as an Associate Director at a media house, work from home was not an easy change to grapple with initially. “There was no concept of timing. We were literally working 24/7, even at sehri time during Ramazan. Both the clients and the office staff assumed that we had no life or family, and were available round the clock just because we were home,” tells Hasan, echoing the sentiments of many women; who face the difficulties of the merging of their professional and personal lives due to the working from home arrangement.

For Sadaf Alam, a teacher and a mother of two, the learning curve has not been easy, both at home and at work. “Once the school made the decision to close down, teachers had roughly two days to make lesson plans, and make sure their students were equipped with everything necessary to learn digitally. It was a challenge for the teachers to learn the workings of an online Classroom,” expresses Alam, sharing that one of the main challenges for teachers is taking online classes with parents being around. “We are expected to be available all the time for virtual meetings. Now students also message on online classrooms, and we are supposed to respond to their queries as soon as possible,” adds Alam.

Clinical Psychologist Dr Asha Bedar who, in the course of her practice, works closely with women on a range of psychological issues, explains that while working from home has its advantages, but for women, there’s also a typically long list of difficulties they face because of societal gender roles. “With home – and everything to do with it – being traditionally seen as a woman’s domain, women’s responsibilities are multiplied many times over when their work life is also attached to the home space. Not only does this mean no break from home, but it also means they are expected to be even more involved in household matters, because they are at home,” she observes. Many of Bedar’s clients, who are working from home mothers, share that their home office is not taken seriously by family members. Visitors, kids issues, kitchen matters – all pressing issues that were somehow being managed by other family members while they were working in ‘real’ offices now fall within their already heavy load of responsibilities because they are physically present at home.

During the pandemic, several aspects of working from home and its effects on women’s well-being and mental health have been brought to light. “While it’s in one way ideal for women with young children to stay at home and work, it also burdens working women with triple burden. Online job or virtual full-time work where for eight to nine hours one has to consecutively work online, sitting and looking at screen and attending meetings can severely affect the health of women,” comments Ume Laila Azhar, Executive Director of Homenet Pakistan, a network of organisations formed to raise awareness about the working conditions of female home-based workers. With children attending online classes, domestic help not turning up due to lockdowns, never-ending household chores, extended hours of sitting and exposure to screen-time, women today have a lot to juggle. “Maybe we all, me too as a woman, were not prepared and ready for this. As a result, stress and emotional blockage is noticeable. In personal and extended relationships, silent symptoms of depression are creeping in for many women. This is the dilemma of educated working women, whether in the corporate sector, banks, teaching, or in the development sector; they are unaware of how their mental health is under threat,” says Azhar candidly.

“Our office is trying their best to ensure our mental wellbeing but it is very difficult to maintain a healthy personal equilibrium in these circumstances,” notices Aftab.

“During the Covid-19 situation, many working women have reported high levels of stress, anxiety and often health issues due to a lack of rest, support and a break away from home because of the significant increase in responsibility, and without not just adequate support but also an understanding or even acknowledgement of this change in their lives,” maintains Dr Bedar.

According to a report titled Gender Differences in the Impact of COVID-19, published in 2020 in the USA by the Center for Economic and Social Research, women carried a heavier load than men in providing childcare after schools closed due to Covid-19. Compared to 14 per cent of men, 44 per cent of women reported being the only one in the household providing care. Among women with children in the household, the percentage with at least mild symptoms of psychological distress peaked in early April 2020 at 49 per cent. In comparison, one-third of men with children reported mild symptoms of psychological distress.

Teaching is a profession that is dominated by women, and this change has been tough for both students and teachers. Virtual teaching is not just challenging, but the absence of sharing a physical space with students is testing for teachers, as nothing makes up for human interaction in person. Alam shares that she was used to seeing her students daily and talking with them in person. Delivering lessons online, according to her, is a whole different ball game.

In addition, the responsibilities at home need to be handled as well. “I have to assist my children with their studies too. Previously my time was clearly divided; I gave 8 am to 2 pm to the school, and the remaining day was for house chores and my children’s homework. But now I'm juggling all three things simultaneously all day long,” adds Alam.

Aftab had to circumvent many things too. “When they found out that the daughter-in-law was finally at home, my in-laws decided to come over and stay for a bit; it was difficult to explain to them that working from home doesn’t mean that I am on a holiday,” she voices.

“For some women, this double triple burden of work – which includes paid work, caretaking work, and social obligations – is reinforced because, with women, the idea of paid work is fragile, and is often seen as a hobby as opposed to an important function,” observes Dr Bedar. When paid work is moved to the traditional domain, it is perceived as even less important, and expectations to be more involved in the home grow. But even in situations where women’s earnings are an important or only part of the household income, they are still expected to take on a greater share of household work when they are working from home.

Yet, despite the challenges, many women like Hasan have learnt to adjust to this new working arrangement and use it to their advantage. “Flexible timings and more time at home has given me more time to bond with my only child; I now may find it very difficult to go back to a 9-to-5 job. With MS Teams and Zoom there, you realise that you don’t have to be in office space all the time,” comments Hasan. For Alam, the plus has been the added bonding with colleagues as they help each other in learning how to teach digitally. And for Aftab, the family time seems the light at the end of the tunnel. “I feel I have lost on my personal time, but a part of me feels satisfied that as a family we get to spend more time with each other.

Farahnaz Zahidi is a freelance journalist and editor with a focus on human-centric stories. She also works as a Communications Strategist.

Action items for a healthy work-life balance

Working women are encouraged to recognise that the perfect balance between work and home life is an unattainable myth. Instead, consider work among the multiple life roles that you manage along with other roles. Each role may require more effort/time than others across the course of the year and throughout your life. Prioritising your roles can help you decide how best to manage your time across your various roles and responsibilities. Each will depend on your personal situation, context, and preferences.

Adapt your attitude: Acknowledge your feelings – positive, negative, and neutral – they are all valid and need to be expressed. Lower your expectations – ‘perfection’ does not exist, and it is okay if you are not as productive as you think you should be. Be okay with just doing your best with the resources you have. Practice self-compassion (e.g., “I made a mistake, but I’m human, and making mistakes is okay.”).

Engage in self-care: Establish boundaries so that you are not taking on extra burdens. Prioritise a relaxation or self-care activity as you are able – taking care of yourself will help you function best in your roles. Participate in teletherapy if desired and available.

Become more organised: Create a structured but flexible schedule. Establish dedicated spaces for certain activities (i.e., work space, play space). Simplify your task list into what is the highest priority, allowing for flexibility. Delegate some tasks to others with clear expectations, as applicable.

Stay connected: Evaluate who you want to invest your energy in and what formats of connection (e.g., Facetime, social media) are most rewarding for you. Have a weekly check-in meeting with a friend or family member who is experiencing similar challenges at home.

If you have children, involve them in your planning: Create a structured but flexible schedule and allow your children to make choices about that structure so they have buy-in. Have children Facetime family members and play games like Charades, Pictionary, etc. Set them up with a task like a jigsaw puzzle and set a timer for them – if they do not bother you until the timer goes off, then they get a small reward (ideally a toy or a sticker rather than food). Give them 2–3 task options and let them choose which one they want to do. This gives them some autonomy.

(Courtesy: apa.org/topics/covid-19/working-women-balance)