The heart is the fuel that drives the mind; otherwise, the brain can’t work....
INTROSPECTION
The human heart beats and pumps blood through our body, but it’s not just made for this. The heart feels, breaks and heals; it loves and hates; it can stay loyal and betray; it can drive you crazy in a day and can take ages to find calmness. It is said, well, not just said but seen that the most extraordinary things humans have done, created, or destroyed are maybe the result of their mind, but the process and the burden of that process were always carried by the heart. The heart is the fuel that drives the mind; otherwise, the brain can’t work.
The hardest thing a human ever does is to forgive. We throw the word “sorry” so much in the air daily that it has lost the true essence. Forgiveness isn’t as easy as we think it is. We talk about this feeling like it is the easiest thing in the world. No, it is not. It takes the energy of each cell of one’s body to forgive somebody. Especially forgiveness without getting an apology. Human hearts are fragile, yet the strongest. They can be shattered over and over again yet stand firm and tall. Forgiveness can be defined as a deliberate, conscious decision or a burst of feelings where one wants to let go of the anger, resentment, and hatred towards the person, feeling, place, group, anything that has caused any harm. There are a few wrong perceptions about forgiveness. For instance, you are supposed to “forgive” and “forget,” which is wrong on so many levels. You aren’t obliged to forget what has been done to you because it is your damage, and nobody can estimate the intensity of it except for you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean the acceptance of wrong. Instead, it means the “acknowledgement” of the wrong and moving on with it.
To work on what is hurting you, you first need to acknowledge the presence of pain. One common mistake we all make while going through pain is that we don’t accept the existence of it. We want to get done with the process of it without feeling it. Trauma needs to be processed; only then you will be able to get over it. Once you have acknowledged the pain something or someone has caused you, then the phase of consideration starts, where you consider the pain and the damage it has caused you. Sometimes, the pain doesn’t hit us all of a sudden. It starts hitting us drop by drop like rain, especially when you have to forgive someone who never apologized. It keeps coming back when you’re walking on the path of forgiveness; hence, it requires a lot of time and consistency.
Consideration plays a massive role in your decision of forgiving that person or not. Then you go through the phase of acceptance.
In the phase of acceptance, you accept that you cannot change the past. You don’t have a way out, except for one. And that way is to move on, accept the future, and live in the present. In this phase, you also have to consider thoroughly if you want to forgive that person or not. This decision should not be made lightly, and once made, don’t reconsider.
Enter into the repair phase, where you will start healing yourself by forgiving yourself first because you deserve it the most. Healing is a long messy process, and it can break you all over again. You have to be consistent with your progress.
Everything that deals with human emotions is a process, and when emotions mess you up, you have to go through the process of healing in the same way. Staying quiet and not reacting to things is a great habit, but it can get toxic if this fills you up from the inside because then you can go towards the path of negativity; it’s necessary to empty your heart that requires reaction and talking. Talking about things that hurt you isn’t complaining. It’s catharsis which is an essential need of a human being. Only then can one walk through the most challenging path of healing.
