The one and only!

Have you ever heard about ‘One Child Syndrome’? Many of you must be unaware of this syndrome. Basically, one child syndrome or only child syndrome is a psychological disorder which affects an only child and the parents of that child. The only child syndrome theory is believed to have its roots in the work of Granville Stanley Hall, a psychologist who presented this theory back in the 1896. Hall believed that an only child is more likely to have problems forming relationships and functioning socially and that he or she may even intentionally distance themselves from others out of a sense of superiority. However, during the 20th century continuing into the 21st century, many researches have been conducted which suggest that one child syndrome might be just a myth.

Back in the old ages having more than 4 children was considered to be a blessing. And then came a time when many couples resorted to having just 2 or 3 children at the most. However, quite a few years later, parents opted to have and raise just one child. There are various reasons why many couples in the recent times are firm on their decision to have just one child be it a girl or a boy. A lot of couples feel that they can be much better parents to a single offspring. And many settle on having just one child because of their financial restraints. These days, due to the ever increasing inflation, usually the husband and wife belonging to the middle class have to work in order to make ends meet. Hence, more and more couples prefer having an only child so that they can give their child a healthy and happy life. And not to forget provide their child with quality education so that they can have the best of opportunities in the future. 

Also, there are those working parents who don’t have a strong family or social support and hence opt to have and raise just one child. “I have a daughter who is almost 5 years old. Even though, I am blessed that my parents live nearby and look after my daughter while I am at work, I can’t just have another baby and leave my second child to be raised by my parents. They are old and it will unfair to them to have to look after two kids at the same time,” shares Marium, a 30-year-old full-time employee at a private firm. “The sad part is that even with our combined salaries we can’t afford to hire help so that the maid could take care of my daughter under the watchful eye of my mom. And we were totally against the idea of leaving our child into a day care centre mainly because we had doubts about the environment and of course the hefty amount that we had to pay was way over our budget,” she explains.

In our part of the world having a lot of children means strong social support especially in the old age. Such people believe that parents who choose to have only one child are lazy and selfish. “Soon after having my son, people started asking me, ‘So when are you planning another baby?’; ‘Don’t delay in having another one, both will grow up together’, etc etc,” tells 27-year-old Sumaira. “Actually I always believed that parents of two or more kids are unable to give their kids ample time and attention. I discussed it with my husband and he fully supported me. Now, we devote all our time, money and love into turning our son into a happy and confident little boy. Of course, one key factor of raising an only child is that we are all feeling the economic pinch. But that in no way means that we are selfish or lazy.”

The good news is that recent research backs up the theory of having a single child and rules out the theory of one child syndrome. The common belief was that an only child would more likely turn out to be a spoiled, bossy and selfish adult who would have problems forming friendships and close relationships. But the recent studies and researches show that a single child may, in fact, grow into a more accomplished, capable and reliable adult with higher self-esteem.

So, all you parents out there who choose to have just one child, rest assure that your kid will grow up to be just fine.