As children we used to believe that the world is mostly filled with good people. It was because in our understanding, bad people were those who were thieves or murderers.
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As children we used to believe that the world is mostly filled with good people. It was because in our understanding, bad people were those who were thieves or murderers. However, after entering adult life, many of us tend to realize that people with bad intention are all around us and most of the times those people are disguised as friends.
Unfortunately, I being the naive woman that I am, refused to believe there was bad in anyone at all till the users, abusers and selfish friends started showing their true colours. Oh don’t worry, this is not a bitter article about how awful people are. On the contrary, it is an amusing look into the lives of the selfish people I have come across in my life. It started with my female friends who were always busy or cashless when it came to helping friends. Yes, money is the root cause of all problems and this is the area where we get stabbed in the back the most.
An incident happened where my girls and I were hanging out and decided to go to a coffee shop. The only problem was no one had money. So I offered them cash saying all we had to do is pick it up from my place. We were near the coffee house so we went inside and ordered and then I left to get the cash from my house, leaving my friends at the cafe. When I came back, I saw that my two friends had already eaten everything that we had ordered. They handed me the cheque and said they were getting late and left. I sat there like a sad sixteen-year-old girl and cried. I felt betrayed back then but now I giggle when I think about how I allowed people to use me. Oh well, at least I fed some stomachs. But the tradition of ‘feeding people’ didn’t end there. Everywhere I went, I came across people who refused to pay up and would either leave before the bill came or would rush to the bathroom to avoid the cheque. And there were also others who would order green tea instead of a meal, and then fill their tummies by taking a portion out of everyone’s plate. The advantage; “I didn’t order anything so why should I pay?” You just filled your tummy by picking up food from people’s plate missy!
How can I forget the worst kind! Well, I am talking about those friends who arrive at birthdays without gifts, and then refuse to treat you when their time comes. Hey, just because I am nice doesn’t mean I own a tree that grows money. The bottom line is people don’t want to sacrifice their time or money for others. All they want to do is use each other and get benefits from everywhere. Thinking why would anyone act like this? It is because they care only about themselves and are too selfish to be empathic. The truth is we are all selfish and self-centred, but some of us just choose to be more selfless than others.
However, the fact is being selfish doesn’t get you as far as you think it would. I truly believe that the energy we put out comes back to us and ‘karma’ is something all of us should be petrified of. I do suffer a lot at the hands of selfish people but I take pride in not being a user as well. If you aspire to make ‘self-betterment’ your driving force and live your life with love, then here are seven tips that will help you become selfless...
1. Listen. To be a good listener, you have to let go of your own beliefs - even for just a moment in time. You can’t be thinking of your next words or move - or that your own thoughts are better and more worthwhile. Listening to the people around us, really listening, promotes positive self-growth - and closer, less selfish relationships.
2. Put your needs last. Sometimes, doing what another person needs rather than what you want surprisingly leads to your own happiness as well. Too often we waste our energy on making a point to just be ‘right’; when the thing is, there is usually more than one ‘right’ route anyway. Try occasionally putting other people’s needs before your own and see the magic.
3. Put yourself in their shoes. Before being selfish and hurting people, put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you could hurt someone with your actions. Just a little bit of empathy could aid you in becoming a better person.
4. Get off your high horse. Let me give you a heads up on an important reality: you are not more important than anyone else. You might be good at your job, pretty or just plain talented, but so is everyone else in their own way. So get off your high horse and stop thinking that what you want or need is more important.
5. Don’t be a jerk. People that always get what they want don’t exist, but people that always try to get what they want - well those people are probably jerks. Don’t be a jerk. Never forget, people notice and remember bad behaviour.
6. Break the habit. I can tell you from personal experience that being selfish can be like any other bad habit-hard to quit and often a cycle that you don’t even want to be in. So try to change your habits - starting from today.
7. Let it go. So you or someone close to you have been selfish in the past. Happiness means moving on-and truly moving forward means letting go of the past. You can change; others can too; and learning to let go of selfish and unhealthy relationships (including with yourself) is crucial for a better life.
