It’s 2025, and we women are still being told every day to stay silent because it seems pointless...
harassment
It’s 2025, and we women are still being told every day to stay silent because it seems pointless. They won’t believe us, and they will blame us because of our clothing, our hairstyle, or how we present ourselves. Society often insists that women must look a certain way, commonly believing that if a woman doesn’t have long hair or a specific hairstyle, she must be a boy or a man.
Even in this era, women are being told how to dress, how to act, and how to please men.
Furthermore, the issue of consent is crucial; why should anyone feel entitled to touch another person without their permission? In public spaces, people often remain silent when they should speak up.
A friend from Karachi visited, and we took her to F-10 Markaz in Islamabad for food and tea. Since we were three girls, we chose to sit in the family area. After finishing our tea, I looked for the waiter to ask for the bill. That’s when I noticed a group of five men staring at me. They were all likely over 40. Two men from the group approached me and said, “If you don’t mind, I want to ask you something.” I was already intimidated by their stares. I replied, “What is it?” He said, “Please tell me if you’re a boy or a girl. We have a bet going, and I took the dare to ask you.”
I responded, “Is it entertaining for you guys to stare and then approach random people? Don’t you have better activities for fun?” He became angry and said, “I already asked if you didn’t mind.” I firmly replied, “I do mind, so please leave me alone.” However, he persisted, insisting, “I want to win the bet. Please tell me.” Fortunately, another male intervened, spoke to him, and made him leave.
For context, I look like any other woman with short hair. I don’t have a beard or a manly voice.
These men often forget that their two minutes of amusement can cause us months of anxiety and years of trauma. Women were not created for men’s
entertainment but as their companions.
This isn’t the first time I’ve faced harassment. Even a politician, popular among YouTubers for his engaging talks, made an uncomfortable comment and physically harassed me while speaking outside Parliament House. The irony of a woman being abused - I was recording him for my official programme page when he was asked who he’d give flowers to on Valentine’s Day. He turned to me, hugged me, and said, “Maybe this time, I’ll choose a journalist.”
The whole incident was captured on camera. I removed myself from the situation and went inside the building, as I couldn’t think of a response at the moment. The men around us started laughing, but none of them intervened. Interestingly, he didn’t get confused with any other boy present there, but my short hair seemed to have caused confusion about my gender. To which I wonder how comfortable the politician’s children would be knowing that their father was flirting with what he ‘presumed’ to be a man.
Later, I shared this incident with a colleague, who spoke to the politician. He apologised, saying, “Please don’t speak loudly, but your hair made me confused - you look like a boy.” He blamed me while apologising. This incident highlights how our society often enables harassment, and those in positions of power are rarely held accountable.
When I shared this incident with my senior, he initially said he would find the video and tweet about it, calling for action. However, an hour later, he dismissed it, saying the politician must have been mistaken and that confronting him would only cause me trouble. Although he apologised, the damage had already been done. This shattered my confidence, and I feel as if I was at fault.
I have been going to parliament for years, and it never happened to me. The honourable parliament where laws are made, where 250 million Pakistanis place their trust. Parliament of Pakistan - where someone feels like they can harass anyone.
I started doubting myself after that incident. Maybe I am the problem - my hair, my clothes, and my existence. This society seems to provide more comfort to men; they can do whatever they want and still live happily. But for women, even something as simple as cutting their hair short can be perceived as a transgression, punishable by harassment and public shame.
Unfortunately, experiences like mine are not isolated incidents. Pakistan has a significant problem with harassment and violence against women, often perpetuated by societal attitudes and a lack of accountability. Casual harassment is common nowadays. Simply standing next to a girl or woman often invites inappropriate jokes, and many get away without consequence.
Why is it still difficult to discuss abuse? When will this taboo finally fade away?
This silence is suffocating and damaging. It eats away at people from the inside. Intrusive and self-destructive thoughts seem to surface every second. No matter how many times people are told to stay quiet, that inner voice only grows louder. You want to scream and tell everyone how you have been wronged, but society demands you to be quiet. Because it is always the woman’s fault.
The writer is a media professional based in Islamabad. Her X handle is @MawishFakhar
