The significance of nikahnama

chambers of justice

Would you go and buy furniture and fittings for a house without signing a contract or without actually reading the contract? What if the contract says that you cannot change the paint on the walls inside the house? Or what if the contract says that if you rent it out, the entire payment will go to the first owner? If you can’t prepare for a house or sign the contract without studying it, reading it, and filling it out on your own terms, how can brides and grooms sign the nikahnama or their marriage contract without filling out all the clauses?

Belonging to a Pakistani family, we are so excited and involved in wedding preparations and planning - from the hall, decoration, and food to the guest list, makeup, dresses, and jewellery - that we often forget what the marriage is really about: the nikahnama! Why is it so important? Because it’s the key that unlocks a door to women’s rights. I usually get the question of how, belonging to a brown family, I am so well-versed on this topic without even signing a nikahnama in my life. There are two major reasons for this.

In 2018, when my sister was getting married, we spent two days on preparation and dedicated a whole day to studying the nikahnama. We watched videos online and consulted some religious scholars about what can and cannot be included in it. That was the first time I got to see a nikahnama and almost memorised the clauses.

Fast-forward to 2022, I joined the Legal Aid Society, where there was an entire department dedicated to research on nikahnamas, with a plan to provide awareness at the grassroots level in the community. Not only did I get to study it this time, but I also had the opportunity to spread this message. I was quite shocked to learn that, according to our research in 2023, 91 per cent of the 185 nikahnamas we studied had clauses that were struck out, as it was considered bad luck to even talk about it at the time of marriage, let alone have the bride and groom actually discuss and fill it out.

It’s quite sad and funny to see that the nikahnama is filled out by parents or family members instead of those who actually have to sign it, knowing that their entire life depends on it. This is the sad part. The funny part is how columns 1-16 are filled out, and as soon as the pen reaches column 17 of special conditions, it’s as if the pen slips automatically to cast a line on the entire paper, cancelling every right given to a woman. The pen only magically continues after column 22, and then it is given to the bride to sign, who can barely see the entire paper due to her face being covered with a ghunghat. Ironically, this sight reminds me of horses I used to see when I was a child, where their eyes were covered with eye masks, and they continued to go in whatever direction their owner told them to. In such a marriage, the owner changes, but the eye masks are constant.

I find it so cool to have so much information on a contract with mutual agreement. Starting off with special conditions in clause 17, where I can actually list a number of things, including the number of children I want, whether I want to live with the groom’s family or not, continuation of my studies, my job, division of marital property even if I am doing unpaid labour, and I can just go on and on, but I’d like to save some for my own nikah.

Clause 18 would allow me to pronounce divorce without having to apply for khula and giving up my haq meher. Not that I would want my marriage to end, but you never know these days, so better to be safe than sorry!

Clause 19 can give me the right to apply special conditions if my husband wants to divorce me, such as a fair share in marital property or maintenance for me and my children, even if I’m working and earning. It might be hard to convince men of this, but everything works out with fruitful discussions and real-life examples.

Clause 20 guarantees any allowance that I’ll need, which I can mention to be subject to inflation. I mean, I can’t survive on 20K a month after 10 years! Just kidding, I can’t survive on 20K even now. But jokes apart, even if I am earning, I need that money for my security, and it’s my choice whether I choose to save it and spend it on both of us or myself.

Clauses 21 and 22 are about the groom’s previous marriage, which I hope I get to strike out, where the groom has to mention any previous marriage and whether there was consent taken from the first wife or not.

Now, I can sign the nikahnama peacefully but the story doesn’t end here! I can even make amendments in my nikahnama in the future. How? I’ll just need mutual consent with my spouse along with some witnesses. This amendment can be regarding property or maintenance or dowry.

I hope there comes a time when such education is made part of curriculums in schools and a ‘trend’ at home.

The writer is an Assistant Manager Communications, Legal Aid Society.