In some form or shape, we are slaves to the internet, checking emails, tweeting our views, showcasing our lives on Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and Facebook - a collective realm called ‘social media.’
Among the myriad modern-day invasions of our lives, the dominant force is the internet. In some form or shape, we are slaves to the internet, checking emails, tweeting our views, showcasing our lives on Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and Facebook - a collective realm called ‘social media.’
Kate Loveys wrote in Daily Mail that the so-called ‘social networking’ sites have actually made the world anti-social. The pervasive internet addiction not only dominates our lives, but binds us to gadgets to an extent we are detached from the real world. Professor Sherry Turkle of MIT, a PhD sociologist and personality psychologist, in her book ‘Alone Together’, addressed this monstrous invasion of society, identifying it as “pathological behaviour.” Her arguments included examples of “mourners at a funeral checking their phones” as the coffin was lowered in the grave. Professor William Kist from Kent State University, Ohio, cited the tragic incident of Simone Back, a 42-year-old woman who posted a suicide note on Facebook, but not one ‘friend’ out of her 1,058 friend list bothered to call for help or raise the alarm. Sadly, she died.
The reality is that, in our quest for online validation, we reach out to a void of anonymity and neglect the genuine connections that make human existence meaningful. Many fail to recognise that their constant stream of ‘forwarded’ messages, inundating social media feeds, goes largely unnoticed. People don’t even bother reading the relentless information and news bombardment; it does not register on people’s (very) short memory. Last week, I sent a serious message to a friend about how men, for the sake of family and children, hardly buy gifts for themselves and ignore their personal needs. Although the message was not funny but thought-provoking, he replied with ‘hahaha’ and comical emojis without reading it. He admitted later that he had not read it but assumed it must be a joke.
The same disregard extends to the obnoxious ‘Good Morning’ and Subah Bakhair texts, which have no genuine concern. The ‘sender’ enjoys the dispensation of social media gimmicks but in reality, never calls or enquires about the welfare of that friend or relative. Despite facing critical health conditions, people receive forwarded messages; the sender remains oblivious until news of the demise surfaces. Posting pictures of food people cooked or ate or bought and timings of when they sneezed or coughed and, not to mention the sleaze and slander of political rivalry and dissent, which crossed every limit of civility - people even post pictures of deceased relatives. How disrespectful is that. Besides, during such insensitive times, people scroll down in a flash to read the next post.
Evgeny Morozov, an expert in political and social implications of technology, probed the impending disasters of the internet in ‘The Net Delusion: The Dark Side of the Internet Freedom’ and highlighted how earlier people wanted to make the internet freer, but now the world is worried how to control its uncontrollable nature. He believes that the internet “constricts or even abolishes freedom.” In a Newsweek article, ‘One Hundred Tweets of Solitude’, Jessica Bennett wrote that the average teen spends more than seven hours a day on tech devices, plus an additional hour texting. The unleashed monster affected almost every sphere of life: children became vulnerable to numerous internet evils, including pornography, bullying, addictions, suicides, and school shootings. The Washington Post reported that since the 1999 Columbine school shooting, 394 school shootings have occurred, the most recent on January 4, 2024 in Iowa.
While the internet has undeniably revolutionised communication, facilitating long-distance connections and swift exchange of information, it has also caused isolation. Once, airplane passengers engaged in friendly conversations, forming connections that turned into friendships. Now, grouchy sour-faced pseudo-intellectual men and women tune out human beings and, engrossed in gadgets, pretend intellectual detachment. The paradox of the internet lies in its ability to connect people globally but leave them emotionally and socially isolated. Virtual friendships eliminate the initial awkwardness of actual encounters, but the typed text on a screen does little to alleviate the loneliness that plagues individuals. The ‘Friend List’ may expand, but does not improve mental, emotional, and social well-being.
Technology, despite its conveniences, has inadvertently paved the way for addictive behaviours, with people compulsively checking social media and seeking validation through comments and likes, indicating low self-esteem. The constant pull of WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, X, and the toxic TikTok, which left millions of young people delusional about being Hollywood stars in few seconds of lip-sync, is not only addictive but abuses social norms. It compromises the ability to focus because at the back of the mind is the haunting thought of our social media. Some people binge, others check social media at every free moment but get offended when warned about social media addiction. Some insist it is not as alarming as substance abuse, although it negatively affects the brain.
Using cell phones even in social situations is a direct insult to others, while texting and driving is least civilised. The addiction, not restricted to a specific age group, affects individuals across all age groups. Internet and Technology Addicts Anonymous (ITAA) in the United States actively assists those grappling with this addiction. Looking at social media first thing in the morning and the last thing at night is an obvious addiction sign, so is consuming content and checking likes and views repeatedly. Some want to be the first for ‘Breaking News’, any news, which can often be false.
Turkle’s warning against embracing ‘pseudo-techno relationships’ instead of lasting emotional social connections resonates strongly today, where text-dependent friendships and relationships are increasingly the norm. Today, most friendships and even relationships have become text-dependent, a skewed sense of social connection. Even when real human beings are together, texting and scrolling take precedence. Turkle blamed it on the adrenalin rush people get from making a connection. However, Bennett argued that none of the fleeting inconsistent good feelings with strangers in different continents or cities can be on par with “engaging in real, face-to-face intimacy.” As we navigate this digital landscape, it becomes crucial to strike a balance between the virtual and the tangible, fostering genuine connections and appreciating the richness of human companionship.
Zia Gurchani is a columnist, political analyst and author of ‘In the Ruins of Solitude’. He can be reached at X @ziagurchani.
