All the world is a stage, And all men and women are merely players; and regardless of what you call him when you are forced to study his plays at school, the man was a genius....
COVER STORY
Working in an office is mostly a rewarding experience: you gain exposure, knowledge, enemies, frenemies, and, if you are lucky, friends. My long stint at a very congenial workplace has convinced me of one thing, however: there never is a dull moment: life in a work environment is this one small, inadvertently produced play, where there are all sorts of characters which in many cases bear astounding resemblance to each other from one work place to the next. Shakespeare said it better than anyone else could: All the world is a stage, And all men and women are merely players; and regardless of what you call him when you are forced to study his plays at school, the man was a genius. Seriously.
Starting work in an office is an exciting adventure, but it can be daunting; you are a fresh graduate and you are nervous, even if you have some internships under your belt. But, don’t worry, you soon get the hang of everything and become comfortable in your new surroundings. Read on to see if you can relate to the categories your supervisors and co-workers are roughly placed in …
This is a person who is almost always the centre of attention. He is spontaneous, witty and has a penchant for humor which might run to being a little mean at rare times, but generally he is harmless. He has a few people that he likes to pick on more than others, simply because they are so easy to pick on. People like him because he enlivens the place and gives them that much needed respite from work. Speaking of work, he might tend to slack off a little at times but then, of course, he has that ready tongue that can get him out of a potentially sticky situation. This jokester is welcomed by all office workers, because he usually has a lot of gossip to share, most of it harmless but good fun for the coffee break.
The underdog
This is the poor guy who is the antithesis of the jokester. He is the butt of most of the jokes. This guy never has a smooth, ready reply and has a tendency to get into messy public situations, most of which are repeated around endlessly. He is always the soft target for the resident jester, but he has a nice, endearing quality: he is one of the rare species that can take jokes quite easily with a sheepish smile and an equally sheepish expression. There are times when he gets the joke a bit later then the others which, of course, causes him a great deal of embarrassment and makes him the butt of even more jokes. This guy is generally a hard worker and likes to mind his own business, and is often imposed upon by his boss and co-workers. He is passed for promotions and increments as he doesn’t have the guts to speak for himself.
If only there were just one person that tries to climb up by ratting on his co-workers instead of earning his promotions through hard work! This person (who might sometimes also be ‘the hot chick’), is the boss’ informant. If there is a nickname for the boss or if someone says something about him which is not so complimentary, this is the person who informs him. One is constantly on guard while talking in front of this person and in some cases, conversation comes to a complete halt when he is around. He projects himself to be a hard worker and always tries to take credit for some one else’s work. Generally, he is sugar sweet, which allows him to catch more dirt if you haven’t realized his true colors. In short, you hate this person, but you are a little afraid of him so you try not to get in his bad books. But, he can be a conduit if people want some info to get to their boss!
The obnoxious guy (who can also be ‘the rat’ at the same time), always has a superior expression on his face. He thinks that every one else is beneath him and isn’t afraid to show it. He tries to assert his authority, even where it isn’t due, for the simple reason that he likes to feel important. Normally, he has a collection of really hi-fi sounding degrees that he never misses a chance to mention. He always gives the impression that there are many other companies which are begging him to join them, but he is only here because without him the place would crash as everybody else here is such an imbecile. He wears those expensive looking sharp suits (even in extreme summer) and never removes his tie. And if, by any chance, he has a secretary, then this unfortunate being has constant facial expressions ranging from extremely harrowed for when the jerk is being his usual self to relief in case the jerk isn’t shouting for a change.
This is, of course, usually a girl in her mid-twenties. She is pretty with a sing song voice and doesn’t really know her own appeal. Completely different from the hot chick, she is friendly with the female staff and stirs a sense of protectiveness in her male counterparts. The jokester likes her, so he doesn’t make fun of her. The underdog adores her because she always sympathizes with him. If there is a glitch in her computer, five guys are immediately there to lend their sometimes-non-existent expertise. The boss doesn’t really mind if she makes a minor mistake because it is difficult to scold her and, on the contrary, he treats her with a little fatherly and sometimes amorous indulgence.
A workplace is incomplete without a guy who likes to flirt. This is the predator male. He can be seen chatting with the younger female staff and removes himself from their company with great reluctance. He often descends upon them during lunch time and sometimes even treats them to lunch in a bid to impress the ladies. He considers himself a ladies’ man, but normally he just succeeds in making the girls uncomfortable with his comments on their appearance and his constant pursual. He considers the men in the office as competition, so he isn’t very popular with them. The jester normally has a lot of fun at his expense behind his back.
He is a friend to all the guys and a sort of brother to all the girls. People run to him with their problems and he tries to solve them and if he can’t, he lends a comforting ear. For example, if the life of ‘the office darling’ is being plagued by ‘the hot chick’, this is the guy she will come to. He will, in turn, try and shield her whenever he can. He isn’t very ambitious but he is a hard worker and keen to help those who ask for it.
What a nuisance this breed is! They like to help themselves to the food brought by their colleagues, because what they bring is not fit for human consumption! Also, when everyone orders lunch, they say they have brought their own, and don’t order. But, when people sit to have lunch, they start looting left right and centre on the pretext of ‘tasting’ the food! The jerk can be this guy, too.
Well, your life can be super cool if your boss is a nice person but, if you are stuck with a bad boss, you better switch. Because he will never give you a good annual confidential report. He can also make work environment difficult by making unreasonable demands like staying after hours, or inundate you with useless work just to keep you busy.
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A workplace is a melting pot, where so many people, so different from each other, come together. Normally, it’s a place where people are pretty artificial, so you can seldom tell what they really feel about you. So, in case you work in an office, try to identify yourself. Maybe, if you are one of the above, you just might find how people really view you.
