When a small village decided to buy a new fire truck, the town council met to decide what to do with the old one....
When a small village decided to buy a new fire truck, the town council met to decide what to do with the old one.
Randall, an older man, stood up. “Ah think we should keep the old truck,” he said. “We can use it for all them false alarms!”
What do you call a dog that won’t come when you call it, refuses to sleep in it’s bed, and seldom wants to play?
A cat.
When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text.
‘I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life,’ he told the audience. ‘She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice.’
At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, ‘Sorry, but it’s really hard to read my mother’s handwriting.’
A guy goes to a shop and orders a drink. As he takes a sip, he hears a tiny little voice say: “Nice tie.” He looks around but sees no one. He takes another sip and hears: “A nice shirt, too.” Again he looks around and sees no one.
He signals the waiter over, and hesitantly explains that he’s hearing voices talking to him... “Of course,” smiles the bartender. “It’s the peanuts – they’re complimentary.”
