close
US

Diaries from a Small Island…

By Muhammad Asif Nawaz
08 April, 2022

“Heaven take thy soul, and England keep my bones!” - William Shakespeare....

Diaries from a Small Island…

COVER STORY

“Heaven take thy soul, and England keep my bones!” - William Shakespeare.

It’s the country that invented cricket but is now head over heels for football. It once was one of the greatest empires on the planet and is now confined to its original tininess. It’s the country of dreams, of poetic words, of unfaithful kings, of tattered history, of uncanny humour, of majestic lakes and lush farmlands. At times, it is an exhaustion, at others it is like an opera. But no one can really define what the United Kingdom is - it is too complex a pothole of ideas, ideals and realities to render itself to simplification. And Winston Churchill anyway said that the British never draw a line without blurring it. So here we are, with a blurred account of the country: the recollections, memories and lessons that are quintessentially British but universally applicable.

Of work and play…

“The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.” - Alexander Woollcott

Weekends in UK can be pretty messy. You’re sure to be surrounded by a stench of spirit emanating from people who may not realise anymore that they’re people, and you may also, by the way, get stabbed if you’re particularly unlucky. However, it’s only an extension of the fact that the people there have their lives set. There’s time for work and there’s time for party. (A debate may be initiated on downscaling the scope of this partying, but 1) who are we to judge? and 2) that should be for another op-ed. While the option of downscaling work should always be hailed without any debate or judgement whatsoever).

Diaries from a Small Island…

What Faiz Sahib once lamented in his pristine expression (that we often don’t understand but still pretend we do because it’s the cool thing to do currently), “kuch ishq kiya kuch kaam kiya… dono ko adhoora chor diya” is how we function in this country. Everything is all over the place: work, play, family, friends, leisure. We are doing one thing and musing about another, to the extent that we often end up being extraordinarily inefficient on both personal and professional accounts. (I solemnly swear I have never done this, but we might be prescribing medicine to a patient of headache but still be giving them deworming tablets all for the particularly unpleasant spat we are having with our partner over texts right now).

Diaries from a Small Island…

In UK, they work while they work and don’t while they don’t. That’s one simple life hack that not many Youtube life changing videos stress upon. While the people there work their backs off during the weekdays, come Friday eve - and all the birds fly to the savannahs, ecstatically fluttering, often to the neighbouring European countries owing to the proximity and fares so cheap that won’t be able to buy an ounce of chilgozas with that money here. One may always argue that this approach of boxing our lives into compartments is probably a bit too esoteric in theory, but I’d always choose a well-formed distinction of week days and weekends over a jumble. Personal experience nags that there may be a chance that I suck at multitasking, and this approach seems all the more handy to me. Also, I may or may not sometimes take help from Youtube videos to do life. Can’t say fairer than that!

Tip: The London Underground is not a 24 hours service. Do check out the operational timings of their different lines before going on to explore the city. Being stranded during the night in a city that largely shuts down before 9 is not everyone’s idea of adventure. We haven’t even gone to the drunk people part yet.

Diaries from a Small Island…

Of heritage and jewels…

“This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.” - William Shakespeare

You have to market a thing in the contemporary era for it to work. Thanks to technological onslaught, most of us have attention spans that last shorter than that of a goldfish. Underscored by consumerism, it’s essential that you convince people that they need something even if they don’t. Heritage is one prime example of this phenomenon in the UK. Once on a guided tour in the Midlands, our guide took us to a plank of steel attached at a slant angle to the base of a building. He told us that it was easily a few centuries old, and such planks were attached by the rich on their buildings so that any of the low-lives who dared to urinate on their buildings in the dark would wet themselves. This was heritage preserved. Gross? Yes. Innovative? Hell yes. And same as it is for art, you just have to tell people of a thing’s importance before they go crazy over it. The exact happened there. Everyone took out their cameras and started a battle of the clicks. (What caption they would have later put it with on their instagrams is a wild guess, but the point is made). It is this nuanced eye for heritage that the country so proudly carries on, and it pays well. Sure, there are majestic sites of historical importance as well.

Diaries from a Small Island…

The architectural delights of the city of Edinburgh, the cathedral of Saint Paul in London (one of the most beautiful buildings I have ever seen), the wonderful Newstead Abbey of Lord Byron, the Roman Bath in the sleepy, serene city of Bath, and the mystery imbued rocks of Stonehenge, just to name a few. But even when there are no castles or jaw dropping relics, the country makes sure that it presents even a plain room as some sort of an outer world experience. And giving in to peer pressure, you actually end up feeling like an outer world experience. What is more interesting is that many of these sites, including the very important Tower of London, are run without financial support by the Government or the Crown, but by volunteers and donors. While we are so magnificently rich in heritage, belonging to different eras and different styles altogether, we keep on treating it like the world treats Bolivia.

Diaries from a Small Island…

No one knows where it is, no one cares to know where it is, and no one definitely thinks seriously about it. Not only is the preservation of history important for any country since it’s a rear view mirror into its foundation and evolution, it’s an asset in economic terms as well. You should see the never-ending queues before the Westminster’s Abbey. You ask God to give you patience, and He puts you in the lines before the Abbey.

Trivia: The fabled Koh-i-Noor diamond, something that Pakistan and India both claim and charge the Queen of stealing, rests in the Tower of London amidst other jewels. Photography isn’t allowed inside, just to add insult to injury. Also, if you’re ever off to visit London, always buy a London Pass.

Twitter & Instagram: @asifnz