To be honest, I was also the one who hides my emotions and always try to fit in the circle of famous trending hashtags of social media #behappy and #bepositive....
COVER STORY
For how long have you been pretending that everything is fine, hiding your tears behind a smiling face, doubting yourself for not being productive, ignoring your rough phase or negative thoughts, just to fit in a forced happy circle around you? When we go through such phases, we are often advised by our well-wishers: don’t worry about it; don’t feel anxious; don’t be sad; don’t overthink; stop being so emotional and so on. However, such words cannot always comfort us.
Look, we all need to understand that ups and downs are part of our life. As we celebrate the happiness around us, we also need to embrace the doses of sadness that come our way. As human beings, it is impossible to run away from the rollercoaster of emotions around us. Being happy, sad, lonely, irritated, empty, excited or whatnot, we all feel things differently at various stages of life. We all need to remind ourselves that all feelings matter. Life is not a fairytale where things go exactly according to our plans. On some days, we feel happy, energetic and productive but then there are times we don’t even want to talk to anyone. Some days are bright, filled with sunshine, but then we also have gloomy days that make us depressed. Ever wondered what makes us scared of embracing our emotions? Maybe the people around us or our own self.
Our obsession with happiness obstructs our capacity to do the hard work of living...keep in mind that the picture-perfect concept should only be limited to your Instagram
To be honest, I was also the one who hides my emotions and always try to fit in the circle of famous trending hashtags of social media #behappy and #bepositive. There is nothing wrong with being happy and positive but not at the risk of your mental peace. Now, I’ve learned that I cannot run away from my feelings and am not ashamed of accepting them the way they are. Some of you might find it weird but now whenever I feel like crying, I cry and spend some time alone not because I am giving up on something but I want to heal from that phase by admitting my true emotions. I am still learning that some things are not in my control, so be patient, work on yourself, learn from that phase and hope for better.
Our society places a high value on happiness, but what exactly is happiness? Generally, having the best career, healthy relationships, and supportive friends and family are considered the prerequisites for being happy. We’re always groping for something, trying to fill ourselves up from the outside in search of peace and happiness. And, it is the very thing that causes us a lot of grief. Our obsession with happiness obstructs our capacity to do the hard work of living, such as recovering from setbacks, accepting our flaws, and learning from the rough phase of life. Keep in mind that the picture-perfect concept should only be limited to your Instagram account because in reality being perfect in all aspects of life should not be a foremost priority.
It is important for us – the human beings – that we develop our ability to deal with our emotions in a way that doesn’t look like a struggle. Instead, we should learn to embrace those thoughts and emotions. Indeed, maintaining an optimistic outlook in every situation is a good sign, but it is also necessary to realise that bad things will happen to us from time to time. It’s not about avoiding those feelings; it’s about dealing with them in a healthy way.
Here are some tips to embrace, enhance and honour all of your emotions without feeling bad about yourself.
Allow yourself to feel
Every human emotion is valuable. Even those we think of as “bad” might be beneficial if we allow ourselves to feel them fully. Allowing ourselves to experience these feelings can assist us in moving forward with things in our lives that are helpful to us and our relationships.
Look for motivation around you
Ask yourself what motivates you every day, not necessarily because it brings you happiness, but because it’s something you care about. For example, putting your thoughts on paper, reading a book, going for a walk, or being with someone who makes you feel good.
Stop judging yourself
We never learn from our mistakes when we are frightened of failure. Stop putting too much pressure on yourself. Self-judgment stifles your actual feelings, resulting in a slew of unpleasant effects for both you and the people around you. Simply be yourself and celebrate who you are.
Don’t make happiness a hard and fast goal
When you put all your efforts into pursuing happiness, it’s easy to lose track of when you’re genuinely happy. Instead, we should concentrate on what is important to us, and happiness will emerge as a “byproduct of that concentration.”
Be honest with yourself
Be true about what you want and try to understand your true feelings. Be honest and kind to yourself, and remember that you are enough for yourself. By simply feeling our emotions and moving through them, we can overcome almost anything.
Ask for help
The majority of us do not receive the emotional training we require in order to feel and express our emotions in a healthy and productive manner. When we have emotional support, we can move through the ups and downs of life much more effectively, and we understand that we don’t have to do it alone. It is not only okay but necessary for us to ask for and receive help.
Accepting emotions is helpful
Why is it beneficial to accept your emotions? What’s the point of trying to accept your feelings when it’s so much easier to just get rid of them? Emotions aren’t easy to get rid of, to be sure. We have emotions for a reason, therefore getting rid of them altogether isn’t a good idea. As a human being, you will experience a wide range of emotions, just as there are different kinds of weather. These feelings are, above all else, a natural component of being a living human being. Acceptance of emotions is, therefore, a far better strategy than avoidance.
Emotional acceptance refers to willingness and ability to accept and experience different types of feelings, and to acknowledge and absorb them.
To begin with, accepting your feelings is accepting the reality of your position. This acceptance means that you don’t have to spend your energy pushing your emotions away.
Instead, once you’ve acknowledged the emotion you are feeling, you may focus on engaging in behaviours that are in line with your aims and values. Second, by accepting the emotion, you give yourself the opportunity to learn about it, grow familiar with it, develop skills to control it and integrate it into your life. You can’t learn to do something by not doing it, so avoidance won’t teach you that.
Third, acceptance implies the statement, “This isn’t that bad.” Negative feelings may not be enjoyable, but they will not kill you. Experiencing things as they are — annoying but not dangerous — becomes far less of a chore over time than the continual (usually failed) attempt to avoid them.
Finally, when you accept a negative emotion, its destructive force diminishes. Here is an example for you: when the swimmers are caught in an undertow and feel they are being dragged by the current out to the sea, they typically panic and start swimming against the current with all their might. Naturally, they become exhausted, cramp, and drown. To survive, such a swimmer must do the exact opposite: let go. Allow the tide to carry him out to the sea. The current will diminish after a few hundred yards, allowing the swimmer to swim around and come back to shore. It’s the same with strong emotion: fighting it is pointless and sometimes harmful. Accepting the emotion, on the other hand, allows you to run your own race.
So, from now on, whenever you feel like hiding your emotions and running away from them, remember that not every day is productive and happy. That’s okay because you are doing your absolute best, even if at that particular moment your best is allowing yourself to cry, allowing yourself to sleep, allowing yourself to breathe. As Alice Morse Earle said, “Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day”.
