COMIC RELIEF
We bald men don’t spend all our time shampooing and rinsing our hair. It’s one of the many selfless acts we bald men perform every day to make our world a better place. The bald also don’t have use for plastic combs, or no hair dryers either so that’s gotta save on electricity. Come on. We have got to go bald - all of us. Walking around with a full head of hair is like driving an SUV or dumping toxic sludge into a river. It’s irresponsible. Hey, you hair people, shame on you!
Larry David
* You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
* You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
* You go outside your shadow stays inside.
* You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
* You discover that your bird feeder is clogged with puffed wheat and popped corn.
* You discover that hot air balloons can’t fly because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.
* You see lizards carry a leaf to put under their tail when they sit down.
* Hot water now comes out of both taps.
* No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
* You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
* You see birds using potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
* The chickens are lying hard boiled eggs.
* You see a bee take its yellow jacket off.
* The hump on Camelback Mountain is shrinking.
* The hamburger is already cooked after coming off the cow.
* By the time you get to work, the radiator is boiling over, your clothes are dripping wet with sweat and you smell like roasted Garfield.
* You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
* The trees are whistling for dogs.
* The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?
