Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water....
1. You’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead.
2. Your back goes out more than you do.
3. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
4. You buy a compass for the dash of your car/truck.
5. Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn’t breaking any laws.
6. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
7. You sing along with the elevator music.
8. You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
9. You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
11. People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
12. You answer a question with, “Because I said so.”
13. You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
14. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
15. You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
The killer food
A dietitian was once addressing a large
audience in Chicago:
“The material we put into our stomachs
is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
“But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, “Wedding cake.”
