Knowledge pills

A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kinds of knowledge pills are available.

The pharmacist says: “Here’s a pill for English literature.” The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature.

“What else do you have?” asks the student. “Well, I have pills for arts, history, biology, and world history,” replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects.

Then the student asks: “Do you have a pill for math?” The pharmacist says, “Wait just a moment,” goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plunks it on the counter.

“I have to take that huge pill for math?” inquires the student.

The pharmacist replies, “Well, you know math always was a little hard to swallow.”

 

Witty answers

Q: What is the definition of a “lucky break”?

A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

Q: What is the definition of a “crying shame”?

A: There was an empty seat.

Q: What do you buy a friend graduating from law school?

A: A lobotomy.

Q: What do you call a nun who just passed her bar exam?

A: A sister-in-law.

Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?

A: Professional courtesy.

 

Why must we learn this?

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, “Why do we have to learn this pointless information?”

“To save lives” the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.

A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” he persisted.

“It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school,” replied the professor.