Jane’s three-year-old daughter stuck out her hand and said, “Look at the fly I killed, Mommy.”
A blonde and a brunette worked in a factory. The brunette says, "I know how to get some time off from work!" "How?" asks the blonde. "Watch this," says the brunette. She climbs up to the rafter and hangs upside down. The boss walks in, sees her and says, "What on earth are you doing?" "I'm a lightbulb," she answers. "I think you need some time off," says the boss so she jumps down and walks out. The blonde starts walking out, too. "Where are YOU going?" says the boss. The blonde replies, "I can't work in the dark!"
How do you call a pastry chef who came up with a new recipe for a cake?
A pieoneer
Why do you eat cake daily?
Because it’s someone’s birthday somewhere out there.
What did the cake say to the knife?
Do you want a piece of me?
What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
Hey, what’s eating you?
What do mice like to eat for their birthdays?
Cheesecake
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate
Jane’s three-year-old daughter stuck out her hand and said, “Look at the fly I killed, Mommy.” Since she was eating a juicy drumstick at the time, Jane thrust her contaminated hands under the faucet and washed them with antibacterial soap. After sitting her down to finish her drumstick, Jane asked, with a touch of awe, “How did you kill that fly all by yourself?” Between bites, she said, “I hit it with my drumstick.”
