The writer is grateful to these people for making the trip to Vietnam possible and memorable.....
COVER STORY
A Shopper’s Delight (Or not)
I’m not a fan of shopping at all. I give off vibes of being battery operated when I have to accompany my sisters to their sprees. But the night markets present in almost every city in Vietnam do pluck at the hidden shopping gene inside you. You can get everything in these markets, and then some: souvenirs, Vietnamese products, handicrafts, food, and apparel and footwear of all the brands: Nike, Adidas, Under Armour and North Face, to name a few. Some of these products are directly smuggled from the companies that these brands have set up in Vietnam owing to cheap labour; some pieces may be defected, and some may be downright fake. But then, it’s a bit pretentious to talk about fake products in a fake world full of fake people. The upside is that the night markets are essentially cheap and you can well make it your money’s worth.
The downside is that there’s no shopping in Vietnam without brazen, furious haggling. The vendors expect it as well, the prices they tell you at first are so inflated that it’s incredible how they manage to say these with a straight face. You may also be mobbed and grabbed by some overenthusiastic vendors not willing to let go of a potential catch. (You may get told “you’re handsome” a bit too often, but don’t gloat over it and don’t believe it at all - they say this to everyone to get those bucks out). But money’s a bit tricky in Vietnam. One Pakistani rupee equals around 140 Vietnamese Dong. You can easily spend one million Dong in Vietnam; in fact, you’ll be made to. There just are too many zeros on the notes, and mistaking a 10,000 note for a 100,000 one is very probable. Who likes maths anyway? In fact, if you were to carry these many notes with this many zeroes in Pakistan like you have to in Vietnam, you would get all the attention from gold diggers, wallet snatchers, Lahori elite, namaloom afraad, shaadi dafaatir and of course, NAB.
Heritage Chronicles
Vietnam has a rich history. Spanning about some 4000 years; in fact, it is so rich that it may easily give nightmares to the 99.99 percent of the human population that isn’t exactly crazy about history. All that we need to know is that the country was colonised by the Japanese, French, Chinese and Siamese, after being ruled over by a number of dynasties with names as fascinating as Ngos, Dinhs, Les, Lys, Trans, Macs, etc. One of these dynasties, the Nguyens, are of particular interest here. Not only because half of the population of Vietnam goes by the surname of Nguyen, but also because the dynasty was the last of the imperial dynasties, and had as its capital the Imperial City of Hue. Located alongside the Perfume River, the Imperial City is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and housed many temples, residences, gardens, offices and palaces.
The Imperial Citadel was severely destroyed during the Vietnam War, and as many as 150 important buildings were destroyed. However, owing to its size and the sheer beauty of the structures present, it is still worth a day’s visit. The Nguyen dynasty ruled for about 143 years, and Hue, with all its assortment of colours and frescoes, is the best way to experience that empire. Many emperors of the dynasty also have their altars at the temple in Hue, and spice the experience up with interesting tales of the rulers. (Since the dynasty was closely allied with the French, one of the emperors used all fairness products he could to fit in more with the latter.
He should thank his stars there was no cancel culture back then). Another World Heritage Site is the dreamy, beautiful city of Hoi An. To be here is to be in a fairy tale. With its happening centre where history meets present and where no cars are allowed, mustard-yellow traditional houses that pack centuries of stories, a flurry of cafes offering views of the serene river, and thousands of lanterns that are everywhere - Hoi An is a place like no other. The music arises from the rooftops in Hoi An, flows ever so smoothly upon the air that is heavy with moisture and joy, and burns into octane as it meets the flicker from a lantern oscillating upon the waves of water. Such is the aura of the place that even PDA can be condoned, for only this once.
The Management of Cities
Every major Vietnamese city differs from the other in terms of planning and development: Hanoi is an imperial city shaped by power and focus, Da Nang is a beautiful blend of Western layout and Eastern sensibilities, while Ho Chi Minh is as much a mess as every metropolitan is (yes, Karachi, we are looking at you!). But Vietnam, with its soaring economy, efficiently manages its cities. This management may take the absurd shape of over-done vertical development where the land is scarce, and it would be difficult for me to locate the rooftop pool in one hotel, as the elevators strangely connected the buildings that I couldn’t understand, but I am a small-town guy and allowed some slack.
There are rarely any heaps of garbage to be spotted. I don’t know if it’s because the Vietnamese are innately clean (unlike us) or their municipal functions are being carried very efficiently (unlike us). Transportation may not be your favourite engagement in the country, though. Public transportation isn’t very accessible, and apps like Grab may have their drivers eerily cancel theirs rides on you. Also, unlike the other countries of the region, there’s no cool option of hiring a tuk-tuk and grab a great deal of cheap rates and ankylosing spondylitis. The motorbikes are the most common method of commute in the country, taxes on the cars being too much. The traffic can be a mess, especially in Ho Chi Minh City, but Lahoris have nothing to fear. The best part about Vietnamese cities is that they are made for people, not cars. (Is Islamabad feeling left out? Here we go!) Public spaces are aplenty, and there’s always some sort of celebration going on.
Vietnamese are crazy about football, and their cities are literally choked by the public screenings of the sport that are too common. If they lose, they lose. If they win, they take out never-ending processions of bikes and cars so large that only see such in our country when we gather to persecute the persecuted more. On liveability index, I would rate Vietnam quite high according to my personal experience of travelling. Especially if I get to have a place of my own like the resort we stayed in in Da Nang. It had views of the river on one side and of the stupendous My Khe beach on the other. I do hope that floods are infrequent in the country.
Causes for Concern
But before we get a bit too carried away by these talks of sunshine and rainbows, let’s just take a moment to remind ourselves of how every silver lining comes with a dark cloud. And in Vietnam, a country that gets more than its fair share of rain, the dark clouds are aplenty. For one, the food. It’s starts from being mildly unpalatable to rudely indigestible. Never take seriously the swooning comments of white people on Lonely Planet and Trip Advisor telling you how great the food is: it’s not! Maybe for them it is, since their own food tastes like unmarinated rubber and pliable plastic packed into one but I repeat, it’s not! The only good thing about the food is its philosophy. The ideal dish of food should be a balance of five elements: spicy (metal), sour (wood), bitter (fire), salty (water) and sweet (Earth). The Vietnamese delicacy Pho (pronounced Fuhh) is an exception though. A cross between noodles, soup and yakhni - the beef pho is definitely one dish to die for.
Moving on to the language, let’s just not be excessively uncouth; suffice it to say that it’s not exactly music to your ears. (You have a problem with Pashto? Boy, you’re in for a surprise!) Complicating the problem is that the Vietnamese is the most tonal of all languages. During phonation, they make use of such organs of the body that you never knew even existed. Something as innocuous as a “di” said differently can mean anything among “go”, “ill-treat”, “prostitute” and “scrotum”. Pho, pronounced differently, also means ‘street’. And I was perplexed for the first two days on why every signboard on every street hailed pho like that. Sure, it’s your special thing, but you don’t see us starting all our street names here with Biryani. So unless you’re one of the ultra adventurous types who wouldn’t mind getting their noses knocked off all for an extra kick of adrenaline or are willing to learn the complications of diatrics, stick to Google Translate while in the country. Vietnamese music is nice though; catchy, up-beat and definitely incomprehensible. I have my pick here; it’s a folk song and I like it because I can understand two full words off it (which are Vietnam and Ho Chi Minh).
The Last Word…
We travel to shun many of the notions we have about others. To learn about the significance of ideas and diversity, and the insignificance of our own beings. Vietnam, much like every other place I have been to, has left an impact on me. There’s so much you subconsciously learn while on the go. One lesson from the Vietnam war is that no matter what your job requires you to do, it should never trump the voice of conscience and reason. Dozens of US soldiers and veterans opposed its war in Vietnam, their details proudly hang in the War Remnants Museum. They called the war illegal and immoral, and risked punishments and court martials. Yet, they did not let all the talk of patriotism and nationalism blur their vision as to what was the right thing to do.
We get one short life; subscribing blindly to ideologies that we don’t believe in never does anyone any good. Quitting is not always for losers. Sometimes, it’s the only honourable thing to do. Vietnam also is a great example of starting afresh and new beginnings. And how important it is to forgive even while you cannot forget. Some of these days, all I want to do is don the conical Vietnamese hat and vicariously venture into the unadulterated and welcoming heart of the country, sipping the aromatic Vietnamese coffee while at it (Vietnam is the second largest exporter of coffee in the world). I would still suck at the Vietnamese language, but I know from experience that there are many other languages if we want to engage.
Acknowledgements
The writer is grateful to these people for making the trip to Vietnam possible and memorable. Mr Qamar Abbass Khokar, Deputy Ambassador of Pakistan to Vietnam, for being kind enough to show us around Hanoi and feeding us (much needed) Pakistani food. Ms. Thu Nguyen, for helping us get the visa, and being our virtual guide along the country. And to Haroon Ashraf, as always, my partner in crime - and travelling.
Follow Muhammad Asif Nawaz on Twitter/Instagram: @asifnz
Photos by the writer
