Survival instinct

Man: Please arrest me!

Policeman: Why what’s wrong?

Man: I emptied two rounds on my wife!

Policeman: You murdered your wife?

Man: No, I missed every bullet! You have to lock me up, so she can’t get to me!

Steal a laugh

• A thief was arrested for stealing the world’s finest perfume.

It was a fragrant violation of the law.

• Why did the thief go to the theatre?

He wanted to steal the spotlight.

• What’s the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, “Sign here, please.”

• In the sentence "the thief stole a television" where is the subject?

In prison

• A thief broke into my house

He was searching for money so I woke up and searched with him

• The thief was an expert, left no fingerprints behind.

It was a stainless steal.

• Why did the music thief get such good grades?

He was really good at taking notes

Kale of the Wild

In a lesser known sequel by Jack London, Buck joins a pack of vegetarian wolves. It is called “Kale of the Wild”.