COMIC RELIEF

• What do you call a witch who drives badly?

A road hag.

• How does a witch know what time it is?

She looks at her witch watch.

• How did the witch get around when her broomstick broke?

She witch-hiked.

• What do witches put on their hair?

Scare spray.

• Why do witches fly on broomsticks?

Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.

• How do you know when witches are carrying time bombs?

You can hear their brooms tick.

• Why do witches have stiff joints?

Because they suffer from broom-atism.

• What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?

A witch laughing her head off.

• What do you call two witches who live together?

Broom mates.

• What happened to the witch who was naughty at school?

She was ex-spelled.

• What does a witch ask for when she stays in a hotel?

Broom service.

• What does an Australian witch ride on?

A broom-erang.

Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”

Man: “I had to get to work.”

Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”

Man: I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus.

An attorney was working late one night in his office when, suddenly, Satan appeared before him. The Devil made him an offer. “I will make it so you win every case that you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will worship you, your colleagues will be in awe, and you will make enormous amounts of money. But, in return, you must give me your soul, your wife’s soul, the souls of your children, your parents, grandparents, and those of all the your friends.” The lawyer thought about it for a moment, then asked, “But what’s the catch?”