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A girl’s graduation gift

By Mariam Malik
05 April, 2019

Just the thought of it is so exhilarating. Of course, I will continue my studies.....

DEAR DIARY

Guess what? I am going to be graduating soon! At the age of 22. Yes, I am so excited! I am one step closer to becoming a doctor. All my hard work is going to pay off.

Just the thought of it is so exhilarating. Of course, I will continue my studies, but I’ll be done with my Bachelors!

That said, there is another surprise. Let me give you some hints:

1. I am a girl;

2. I will be graduating soon; and

3. I am in my twenties

Rings a bell? Exactly! You guessed it. Unlike a guy’s graduation gift of cars, mobiles etc., a girl gets a different type of graduating gift - a rishta!

It seems to me as if there is this whole group of aunties, who have been eyeing you from afar; like vultures waiting for their prey, they are waiting for you to graduate. And as soon as you meet their prerequisites, they think they have a right to comment on your life and see that you “settle down for a good rishta.”

According to them, if a girl like me “keeps studying, then what we will do at our in-laws.” We have to be groomed properly; reading and attending classes is wasting precious time when we could be learning how to make good food and essentially be a good wife and a good daughter-in-law.

Statements like these make everything more depressing. It makes me think I had just graduated to marry. Like another aunty suggests: “you get good proposals when you become a doctor.” No! I did not become a doctor for this.

On one hand, I am happy to be graduating; on another, I am devastated by all the remarks. I cannot understand why anybody can’t be happy for once about a girl’s graduation instead of worrying about her rishtas. I am not even their daughter!

I am not aging. I am not crashing at your home. Can you please stop worrying incessantly about me?

I feel no one is going to understand our dilemma. Not even aurat march is going to change this “tradition”. A graduated girl not married? What in the world are her parents waiting for? “Kya pata koi rishta hi na aaya ho.” A girl who has goals other than marriage is just not fathomable.

I just wish this concept would end. I will write soon, exams next month. Bye!

P.S. On a lighter note, my mom got a diamond ring for her soon to be graduated daughter. I love it!