What makes you a college student?

1) If you live in a house with three couches, none of which matches.

2) If you have ever written a cheque for Rupees 500.

3) If you have ever seen two consecutive sunrises without sleeping.

4) If you cannot remember when you last washed your car.

5) If you can pack your worldly possessions into the back of a pick-up (one trip).

6) If the first thing you do in the morning is roll over and introduce yourself.

7) If your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t.

8) If you eat at the cafeteria because it’s “free”, even though it tastes terrible.

9) If you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy.

10) If you wear the same jeans for 13 days in a row - without washing them.

11) If your idea of “doing your hair” is putting on a baseball cap.

12) If it takes a shovel to find the floor of your room.

13) If your midnight snack is microwave popcorn.

14) If you get more sleep in class than in your room.

15) If your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself noodles.

16) If you can sleep through your roommate’s blaring stereo.

17) If you live in an area that is smaller than most mobile homes.

18) If you get more e-mail than mail.

Decision - making

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behaviour, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.

Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

“Done!” says the angel, as he disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, “Say something.”

The dean sighs and says, “I should have taken the money.”

Compiled by Usama Rasheed