Seeing-eye dog

There are two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua.

The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, “Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.”

The guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.”

The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, “Just follow my lead.”

They walk over to the restaurant, and the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

The bouncer at the door says, “Sorry, mac, no pets allowed!”

The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog.”

The bouncer says, “A Doberman Pinscher?”

He answers, “Yes, they’re using them now; they’re very good and protect me from robbers, too.”

The man at the door says, “Come on in.”

The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, “What the heck!” He puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

Once again the bouncer says, “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed!”

The guy with the Chihuahua says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”

The bouncer at the door says, “A Chihuahua?”

The man with the Chihuahua says, “A Chihuahua? They gave me a Chihuahua?”

Intelligence is everything

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing female poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. They’re speechless before her beauty and hope for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.”

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, “I love liver and cheese.”

“Oh, how childish!” says the Poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”

She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says, “How well can you do?”

“Um, I hate liver and cheese!” blurts the Golden Retriever.

“My, my!” says the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.”

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?”

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in finesse, is the Chihuahua.

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says: “Liver alone. Cheese mine.”

Compiled by Usama Rasheed