The bilingual dog

A local business was looking for office help, so they put a sign in their window saying, “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.”

A short time afterward, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, “I can’t hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type.”

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page, trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but he told the dog, “The sign also says you have to be good with a computer.”

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. He proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs, producing a sample spreadsheet and database and presenting them to the manager.

By this time, the manager was totally dumbfounded. He looked at the dog and said, “I realise that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities, however, I still can’t give you the job.”

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said, “Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual.”

The dog looked him straight in the eye and said, “Meow.”

Heard this blonde joke?

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher for 16 - 18 year olds.

She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun, kicking a football.

She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

‘Are you ok?’ she asks.

‘Yes,’ he replies.

‘You can go and play with the other kids, you know,’ she says.

‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says.

‘Why’s that, sweetie?’ asks the blonde..

The boy looks at her incredulously and says:

“Because I’m the goal keeper!”

Compiled by Usama Rasheed