Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary....
Blessing in disguise
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!”
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later, Abe turns to his wife and asks, “Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge cheque yet?”
“No, sweetheart!” she responds.
Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, “Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?”
“Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the cheque,” she says.
“One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send cheques for the Visa and MasterCard this month?” he asks.
“Oh, forgive me, Abie!” begged Esther. “I didn’t send that one, either.”
Abe hugs her in delight.
Esther pulls away and asks, “What was that for?”
Abe answers, “They’ll find us!”
The legal difference
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he’s smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than a sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, “What for?” The sheriff responds, “You didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign.” The lawyer says, “I slowed down and no one was coming.” “You still didn’t come to a complete stop. License and registration please,” say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.” The sheriff says, “That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle.” The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, “Do you want me to stop or just slow down?”
Compiled by Usama Rasheed
