I am an overweight person who doesn’t really take care of her skin and is categorized as ugly by herself...
SPEAK OUT
I am an overweight person who doesn’t really take care of her skin and is categorized as ugly by herself. I know how to drive, but I don’t own a car.
I don’t have anyone who can chauffeur me around town. I have to go out for groceries often by myself. I wear a simple shalwar kameez with a full-length dupatta when I go out for chores.
The only times I wear ‘modernized’ clothing is when I am at events. I am comfortable at those events and not eyed as an object there. So, the reason behind this preamble is a story that I need to share. I had to go from point A to point B on two different occasions. It’s a walking distance for a young person like me. A few weeks back, I took a rickshaw because I considered it safer than walking. When I got out of the rickshaw and was handing out the kraya the man told me there was a giant insect on my back. I should turn around so that he can brush it off my back. The first thought that came into my mind was not of dying by a lethal arthropod but of the impossible physics of his viewing the insect; I hadn’t turned my back on him even once. I told him to mind his own business and go away. He insisted on ‘helping’ me. I had to firmly tell him to drive away. I asked an ‘aunty’ standing nearby to check if there were any lethal insect residing on my back and guess what? There wasn’t.
Today, I decided to walk to the very same place to avoid a similar encounter. And, yet again, I had to face harassment in the middle of the street by a motorcyclist. Before I could respond, he sped away. I tried to follow him hoping to find him at the signal, but in vain.
I am extremely hurt right now. I do not know how to process this. I am tired of being a part of this society where I cannot walk without being harassed. I am tired of being told that it was my fault.
How is it my fault? Is it my fault that I am a girl? Is it my fault that I don’t have the luxury of a hundred mehram men surrounding me while I walk? Is it my fault that I do not have men to take care of my daily chores? Is it my fault that I have to get out of the confines of my chaar dewari to do those said chores?
So, don’t tell me it’s all in our heads. Don’t tell me it’s common so I must be okay with it, because I can never be okay with it. Don’t ask me why I automatically side with women who accuse men of harassment without giving men the benefit of the doubt. I know decent men exist. But what men have done to us makes it hard now to see any good in them.
Harassment is real. It exists. It happens to all of us. And I am sick and tired of hearing justifications from men. Also to the women who tell me my dignity is in my own hands, I wonder what you will teach your sons. Don’t just say ‘more power to you’. Talk to the males in your family: father, brothers and your sons - and your friends. Teach them the importance of creating a safe environment for women to peacefully thrive in.
#metoo is real
