Where are you off to?” I asked my colleague, who was packing a big travelling bag. From the size of the bag, it looked as if he was going hiking, maybe on an assignment or something.
humour
Where are you off to?” I asked my colleague, who was packing a big travelling bag. From the size of the bag, it looked as if he was going hiking, maybe on an assignment or something. Yes I am nosey and quite concerned when it comes to safety of members of my team, even when I am not their leader.
“Malakand.” He replied, continuing to pack some books that he had apparently come to pick from office.
“Why?” I asked. “Why are you going to Malakand? Photography?”
“Nope.” Came the short reply, only piquing my interest in him. As if I needed a reason. At my age you live through the eyes of the young, and by living I mean gather as much gossip and useless titbits about other people’s lives without leaving my chair. And then forgetting what they told me, only to feast on someone else’s life and useless titbit of information. I am not a gossip queen nor do I do anything with the info I gather through this not-so subtle way of interrogation, it’s a hobby.
So I continued. “Then?” I asked as I googled Malakand to find out what was happening there and why a man in his prime was going to this area that is located somewhere on the western border. “You going to Afghanistan? Dude, why would you go there at this point, you know the situation at the border?”
I had no idea what was going at the border, I’d spent the last couple of months playing different games on Facebook about how young I looked; how intelligent I was; what I was in my last life and what I would achieve in the next three. But my question was relevant as in this region - and the rest of the world - something was always happening at the border, so I didn’t need to go into any details.
But his next words stunned me as they were the ones I was not expecting. I mean with relation to Malakand. Ok before all the population of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa and PATA (Provincial Administrated Tribal Area) start, I have no problem with Malakand. The only thing is when a young man with no family or friends in an area suddenly makes plans, I have to ask.
“I am going to get married.” He replied.
“Huh, what?” Thinking I was going deaf.
“I am going to get MARRIED.”
“Who’s getting married?” I thought I had heard wrong and he was mentioning a marriage he was going to attend and as he was too busy packing the words had slipped out. But he repeated the words.
He avoided the question, and was saved from giving any reply for at that moment two colleagues walked in carrying similar bags. Both these men were married - one a middle-aged man with three children and the other has a baby of three months - just a little info on them before we go on.
Like my handsome young colleague, both these men were also carrying bags.
Now my hurt was laced with anger. “And where do you think you two are going?”
Apparently, they had been invited to this wedding and I wasn’t.
Was it because I was the only female in the team or because I was not good enough to go with them?
Fuming I asked, “Where are you two going? To attend his (gesturing towards the handsome dude) wedding?”
“No,” said the middle-aged man.
“We’re going to our weddings in Malakand.” Piped in the other one.
“We are doing our duty to help poor damsels in distress,” said the middle-aged colleague. “WHAT?” I was confused, what did they mean.
“We are going to marry the women of Malakand to help these women who need our help,” said the other one.
“You guys...can you hear what you are saying...Can you hear yourself?” I was almost screaming. The three men looked at each other and then at me with pity in their eyes.
“Yes,” said the middle-aged colleague. “We...”
The men didn’t say anything but handed me a phone which showed a newspaper clipping of a news item in Urdu that was being shared on social media.
Allegedly, a ‘Nikah Bill’ has been introduced (exactly where is not really mentioned) by the government of Malakand. The bill orders all men in Malakand to take another wife or face imprisonment. The news item added that any wife who stops her husband from remarrying she will face a life sentence.
The news item explains that the ‘government’ has come to pass this law due to the scarcity of males in the area. I am sure to the glee of the men and dismay to their wives.
“This news item, if real, says that the men of Malakand which means not you.” I pointed out. “So, get back to work and stop being ridiculous.”
“But these women need men, and what if the men there are not,” asked handsome dude.
Middle-aged colleague and the other one shook their heads in agreement. “That is not your problem. So all three get back to work.” I reminded them.
Middle-aged colleague started to walk out of the room. “Where the heck are you going? Didn’t I just say you have to get back to work and your room is not on that side.”
“Actually we are not alone. We are going in a Convoy,” he said with a smile.
“What do you mean,” I asked.
“Men from other companies were going to travel together in a convoy to Malakand all for this good cause. Ohhh, I just got a text the cars are outside,” he said.
I followed him down and to my astonishment I saw a line of cars full of men of all ages - I swear I saw a couple of 65-plus men in the group. All these men were going to Malakand.
If the news is true, the government of Pakistan needs to question the ‘government of Malakand’ regarding this bill which is the provincial government and get to the bottom of the issue.
Whatever the government does about this will come out in the days to come. What is more interesting is how many men are ready to cheat on their wives at the slightest chance. I wonder how many men have already reached Malakand to do their duty for the good of society!
